Hidden Dreams
by ElfGirl4
Summary: Remus and Tonks sit on an empty bed the night of the Death Eater attack, reliving old love and trying to forge a new one. Warning... HP and the HBP spoilers! Chapter 4 is up!
1. Chapter 1

Let's make sure that everyone knows that there are some MAJOR SPOILERS for THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE in here (just making sure you guys caught that…), so if you want to spare yourself the agony of knowing what happens, then don't go any further. Unless of course, you want to know what happens. Then by all means – go ahead.

Right. So I don't own any of these characters… J.K. Rowling does… It's a bummer, I know…

A/N: I'm thinking that this is going to be no more than a ten-chapter story. Not quite sure yet, because though because a) shit happens and I have to accommodate that stuff… and b) I've never really planned a story out chapter-after-chapter beforehand… so we'll see how this works out. Email me with any suggestions, comments, or concerns. Or you know… just comment and tell me how I did. That's always nice.

A/N # 2: This story deals a lot with flashbacks and whatnot – hence the setting, date, time stuff… I'm not quite sure how much detail (like actual dates as in May 22 or just significant happenings… like… the day Harry gets whisked away from the Dursleys for the 143rd time) I want to go into on each SDT (setting, date, time) heading or if I'm going to stay consistent with the format of each one whenever something changes. Just know that you'll be amply warned of a SDT change with some symbols surrounding the SDT. Mkay? Right then. Enjoy the story and review. Cheers!

A/N #3: Due to me updating this many times and trying to get dotted lines to appear, I'm going to use "o"s to separate where the A/N's are and where the story is. Right? Cool.

ooooooooooooo

Ω Hogwarts, a spare staff bedroom. The night of the Death Eater attack on Hogwarts, also the night of Dumbledore's death. Nearly 2 a.m. (could also be construed as the _morning_ _after_ the attack for the bitterly anal). Ω

The sheets were gently rustled as Tonks shifted her position again. She sighed and struggled to keep her intake of air steady, rather than the shaky breath that fought to come out. The air hung thickly in the room, doused in tension and heavy with the scent of battle and perspiration. Tonks blinked a few times, moistening her lips silently.

Remus sat quite still, his legs swung over the side of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees. Clenched in the fists of both anxiety and conflict, he didn't say a word. He wasn't even sure if he would be able to speak at all.

Silence gripped the tiny room in an over-extended awkward pause.

Not much had happened in the last four minutes; it was a break from the ceaseless horrors that they had had to endure only hours before. Both had passed through the door to the spare staff room with less than bubbly feelings. Not only had both experienced the loss of a friend, but they had experienced the leaking of their feelings for each other in a less than private place – something they both felt that they regretted.

The room was quite plain, though neither of the two noticed that less-than-cared-for look of the room when they entered it. The walls were a matte puce color, something that looked as if it had been painted over a different, more vibrant color… something that looked like it had been done recently – maybe during Dolores Umbridge's horrendous stint at Hogwarts. There was a small, mahogany dresser pushed up against one of the walls that had been collecting dust for some time. Against the opposite wall was a desk of pale oak that had long been abandoned for actual use and now sported a large black ink stain that was splotched across the top. The stool that matched the desk also had a smattering of ink across the top, along with a bit of ink smudging; evidence that a poor soul had sat down upon the wet ink and probably ruined a set of robes. Pressed against the back of the room, betwixt the dresser and the desk and stool set was an exceedingly plain bed. There were white and cream sheets that were tucked into the corners, both on top of each other and both clashing dreadfully. On top of those sheets was a light blue, fuzzy, woolen blanket that looked as if it had been tossed on haphazardly without any care whatsoever – like someone had an effort to make the bed, but never really had any heart in it. No pillow was placed at the head of the bed. Instead, the pillow had been tossed onto the floor, next to the dresser, and it now lay there, unused, crumpled, and rather old looking.

The bed had more wrinkles in it.

Of course it would have – there were two people occupying it at the moment. Both sat at opposite sides of the bed, each giving the other some much needed and yet, much hated space. Neither spoke and the awful silence bore on.

Tonks sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed by the head, which happened to be closest to the wall. Her hands were fidgeting in her lap; and more than once, she tried to calm herself and stop moving. It didn't work. Instead, she put her mind to twiddling her thumbs quietly, but she soon found herself dazing out and her thumbs caught onto one another and ruined the entire exercise. Her teeth mashed against her bottom lip, biting the corner with a slight forcefulness that was evidence of her nerves and had shown her reverting back to her old habits.

Remus sat at the opposite end of the bed, his legs still dangling over the side and his feet planted firmly on the ground. His hands had nothing to do. He didn't usually have those nervous habits that other people were often cursed with, and now was not an exception to the fact. His brow was knit slightly as he stared off at the floor paneling, his amber eyes following the intricately weaving patterns of the wood grain. He was at a loss of what to do. This hadn't been a pleasant evening and he suddenly wished for it to end immediately. He wanted to retire to his own room and sink into his bed to wish for sleep to come and take him away for a few hours. At the rate that this silent conversation was going, it looked as if that goal of lying sound asleep in bed wasn't ever going to be attainable.

He decided to break the silence and he cleared his throat softly. He didn't look up as he spoke, and he didn't even flick his eyes over in Tonks' direction. "Listen. It's been an altogether and entirely _too_ long night. I… I don't know why I came in here, but it was a mistake and I think it'd be best for the both of us to get some sleep before tomorrow; because you know as well as I, that tomorrow is going to be just as long as tonight… if not longer… and… well… Goodnight." His voice was completely level throughout and though he had just told her goodnight and his plans to leave for the evening, he didn't move an inch.

At the sound of his voice, Tonks immediately looked over towards Remus, her eyes soaking him in, imploring him to look at her. She found herself knitting her brow at the fact that he had just bid her goodnight in such an abrupt way. There was nothing in his voice for her. It was so empty. Her eyes stayed focused on him. "Don't you even want to talk? About tonight? About Albus? Us? _Anything_?" Her voice had a sort of desperate quality to it, though she had tried to keep it under control.

He didn't look up. "What is there to say? I have no words for what I'm feeling right now. It's… It's not something I fancy talking about right now."

"What do you mean 'it'? Are you talking about the attack? Or Dumbledore? Or us? What?" She didn't like how nonchalant he was being right now… but then again… that was Remus; able to keep his cool in almost any situation. And now didn't seem to be an exception. These sorts of talks they had never were an exception… Tonks thought bitterly to herself. He was never able to raise his voice at her or yell at her or anything and that annoyed the hell out of her… but somehow, she liked him for it.

His reply was just above a whisper and Tonks subconsciously felt herself leaning in towards him slightly. "I mean… everything. I don't want to talk about the attack. I don't want to talk about Snape or Greyback or Albus. There's nothing I can say about any of them right now. Either way, you probably know how I feel. You've known me that long and I don't think I'm that unpredictable. And about us? No. There is no us. I've told you a thousand times. I—" He stopped and let out an exasperated breath. He had hit his own soft spot. He threw his head back and looked up at the ceiling. He could see a spider rolling up its prey in that sticky sheen of string that was coming out of its backside. He looked away, not willing to watch this horrid metaphorical representation of himself. God, how much he hated seeing things like that and relating them to events that were actually happening. He shook the feeling away and continued on, his voice louder, "Why? Why did you have to bring _us_ up tonight? There's enough going on… I mean… Bill and… and…"

Her eyes flashed and her voice was raised as much as his, if not higher, "I brought it up because it was able to be put into the conversation. It was completely relevant. I _know_ how Fleur feels. I…" She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts.

Remus took advantage of the pause and added his own thoughts to the matter, "With Bill and Fleur, it's _completely_ different. You can't honestly think that I would take Bill and Fleur's situation and meld it to be like ours?" He mentally kicked himself for saying that… yes, he _would_ do that sort of thing… he had just done it with that damn spider…

"Oh yes you _would_, Remus. Don't try and fool me. I was watching at you. I saw how you looked when Fleur affirmed her love for Bill. Don't you dare try and twist the situation and say something about Bill being only 'maybe contaminated.' It's the same exact thing. The same fucking thing." Tonks looked at him with her face contorted into angry disappointment.

All Remus could think to say was, "Don't curse at me Tonks. It's not becoming of you." It sounded just as stupid and curt and rude out loud as it did in his head, but she had gotten him going and he didn't want her to get the last word in edgewise. A thought flickered across his mind, wondering why he was doing this… this was so unlike him to want to argue like this… "Like I said before… Honest to Merlin – I'm much too old for you. You should find someone your own age with money and a proper lifestyle. You don't want to be on the run with me all the time… and every month…" he trailed off dejectedly.

Tonks looked at him with her mouth ajar. She couldn't believe that he had said something so… Well, it didn't matter. She was going to tell him how she felt and then… And then… She hadn't the slightest clue where she was going or why as the first words tumbled out of her slightly pouted lips. "Fine! You know what – if you're so hell-bent on not being together, then _fine_. But don't you dare – don't you fucking _dare_ toy with me and say it's just because you're old and poor and dangerous. You _know_ I don't care about how old you are or how much money you have. That appalls me that you think I'd care about that…"

Remus interjected quickly with, "I was just implying that you don't want to have to be scrounging around for every knut that you can get your hands on. It's not the sort of life that I'd want you living…" He still couldn't look at her…

Tonks continued as if he hadn't even spoken. "And the _danger_. Ha! Remus. Did it slip your mind that every day I'm in danger? That every day I go into work and face _danger_ all the time? I'm an auror and I'm a part of the Order. It's not as if I'm saying that I laugh in the face of danger – by all means, no. But that's a really lame excuse Remus… that your life is too dangerous for me…" She rolled her eyes derisively.

He couldn't stand it any longer, he looked up at and had a pleading look in his eyes, "It's not just that, Tonks. There's that part about me changing every month… if I bit you or got you infected… I don't…" he trailed off once again, his voice returned to barely a whisper.

His eyes were filled with such sorrow and dolor that Tonks was immediately caught within his gaze, returning it with a comforting one of her own. Remus suddenly looked away, unable to keep her gaze for more than that moment.

"So you're scared then? Is that it? What is it that you're worried about? I've already told you that looks and money and things like that don't matter… Are you afraid that I suddenly won't want to be with you once I spend more than a month with you? Well, you know what? To tell the truth – I'm scared too. I'm scared out of my fucking wits, but you're worth that Remus. I'm willing to sacrifice what I've got for you. I'm not going to throw you away like all the others. And I know that deep, _deep_ down in that heart of yours, you know that too… I don't even really know why I'm scared then… It's the mystery, I guess – you know, Remus? The unknown… that sort of grey area that no one really chooses to scope out. The part where you go, 'What's going to happen next? Where the devil am I going, flying blindfolded on a rickety old broom on a cloudy night?' I… I…"

She paused for a moment…

"Do you remember that one night?" Her voice had relaxed and quieted immensely and she felt her gaze soften as she gradually and unconsciously looked off towards the front of the room, dazing off. "The first one? You know – the one where we got ice cream from Fortescue's shop and then we went back to my flat to eat the cones and get out of the heat?"

Tonks was quite unaware of just how loudly she was breathing or how heavily her chest was heaving up and down with each breath of air that she took. She was staring off at the wall… the door… the threshold… she didn't really know _what_ she was looking at. It was merely a place for her eyes to rest, for her mind was in another place… another time.

Remus spent his time not looking at her. In fact, his eyes were darting around the room, looking anywhere _but_ her. He remembered that night. He remembered all the nights. He had played each one over in his head many times, and he was sure that she did as well. Each time he relived one of those memories, new wounds were cut and smothered with salt as he realized that such euphoric times couldn't live forever; they were momentary, a blink of an eye, something that would not last. He knew exactly how this one played out… this particular night – their first, but he remained silent and let her continue.

"We were sitting on the couch and I'd just finished my ice cream and you were still toodling away on yours… and your eyes… when you looked over at me… They had that sort of grey-ish tinge or look or whatever to them… Where we weren't _just_ friends eating ice cream anymore… it was… it was something – something –"

Tonks stopped a moment, searching for a word to describe the indescribable as she sought to carry on.

ooooooooooooo

A/N #3: Wow! First chapter finished! Okay… so to all my faithful and loyal and awesome readers/fans out there waiting for other stuff to come from me (like… maybe a 20-somethingth chapter of Defeat or another chapter of Vanished… perhaps another bit of well… Just ask, all right? Email me or comment and ask me to write something and I'll do it. Yeah. Totally. I'll do it. But I just don't know what you guys want to _read_ anymore, cuz it's been sooooo fucking long and I'm sorry for that!…). Okay. Next chapter for this story should be out soon. I'm not sure just _how_ soon, because my internet's down and I've been forced for the past month to get on the internet at my aunt's house instead of the comfort of my own. . Bad times. Okay. This is long enough. For a closing A/N… so I'll let you guys go have lives…

Cheers!

Elf Girl 4

PS: Remember to email and or comment for me! My email's on my bio page!

PPS: Hey... if any of you saw any typos or whatever, tell me and I'll be happy to go and fix them!


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own any of these characters – they belong to J.K. Rowling. What a drag.

Oh… and let's remember that this has MAJOR SPOILERS for THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE… just in case you had a bout amnesia or something… Unlikely… but… meh.

A/N: This story deals a lot with flashbacks and whatnot – hence the setting, date, time stuff… I'm not quite sure how much detail (like actual dates as in May 22 or just significant happenings… like… the day Harry gets whisked away from the Dursleys for the 143rd time) I want to go into on each SDT (setting, date, time) heading or if I'm going to stay consistent with the format of each one whenever something changes. Just know that you'll be amply warned of a SDT change with some symbols surrounding the SDT. Mkay?

A/N #2: Okay… so all of you who're continuing on in this story _know_ that this chapter is about to get hot and steamy. There's just no way that it can't, right? Yeah. Well… unless yours truly suffers from a rare predicament in the fan-fiction community: smut virginity. Yeah. Okay… the truth is out. I've never actually written a love/sex/lemon/smut/call-it-what-you-will scene in my life. So you're all gonna have to bear (or _bare_… lol, JUST KIDDING!) with me and try and tell me what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong. When you're done with this chapter – go review and comment on the um… _that_ part of the chapter (well… the other parts of the chapter too… but… yeah – you get my drift.) so I can fix stuff or make stuff better, tone it down, steam it up – you name it. Right then. Enjoy the story and review. Cheers! (Or you know… you can tell me that it was totally out of line for me to put some sex in here. Whatever.)

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Ω Diagon Alley, Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. Summer, 2 years prior. Mid-afternoon. Ω

"I'll have a vanilla, please."

"_Only_ vanilla? Don't you want to try something more _daring_? There's that every-flavor-something-or-other-jelly-bean-swirl-ice-cream, butter-beer ice cream, pumpkin juice ice cream—"

"Tonks, it's just ice cream."

Tonks arched her eyebrows and looked at Remus cheekily over her double-decked treacle tart ice cream. "That's right – just ice cream, which means you can splurge a little more than that…"

Remus smiled back at her brightly, "There's no need – I happen to hold Florean's vanilla in very high regards," he turned to the shop owner with his money and swapped it in for a waffle cone with a friendly, "Thank you." In the back of his head, he felt he was splurging enough just getting the ice cream, let alone getting something rather gaudy, tooth-decaying, and expensive; but he didn't let it bother him, as today was just meant to be fun… not something to either break the bank or penny-pinch about… and plus – vanilla _was_ delicious…

She took a lick off of her cone and turned towards the door, looking over her shoulder as she retorted with, "I'll stick to my treacle tart, thanks-very-much," and she stuck her tongue out playfully.

Shaking his head, Remus followed her, rolling his eyes before he let the door close with a sharp click as he stepped outside. He could hear the muffled jingle of the bell attached to the shop door as he walked down the path towards Tonks. Being a warm, summery day, Diagon Alley was filled to the brim of assorted smells, sundry wonders, and bustling shoppers. Despite the commotion of the simple act of walking down the street, Remus was able to find his friend easily in the rest of the crowd. It wasn't just the spiky, bubble-gum pink hair; there was something about her… like an aura that emanated from her slight frame as she walked jauntily down the street. Shaking the thought away, he smiled to himself through his ice cream and caught up to her, nudging her on the back with his elbow.

"Took you long enough, Remus…" she jibed lightheartedly at him and returned his nudge by bumping her elbow into his side.

"Oh! Right… navigating through these hoards of people is easy as pie, is it?" he replied facetiously as he took a lick off of the cone.

"Well it's not as if you really had any trouble finding me…"

"How did you know?"

She shook her head and let her hair fluff out a little, "That's why, silly!"

He only smiled at her as they kept walking and steering their way through the people. Minutes passed where neither said anything, but were joined at the hip, twisting and turning through the crowds as the sun beat down on them. "Hey… um… incidentally, where're we going?" he asked.

Tonks shrugged nonchalantly, "I dunno. Wherever you want to go, I suppose. Got any place in mind?"

"No, not really," he started, before realizing how hot it was getting in the sun, a slight sheen of perspiration forming on the back of his neck. "Maybe getting out of the sun might be a good idea… Your ice cream's going to be running down your hand soon if we stay out here." He gestured towards her slightly drippy-looking cone.

"Not to mention your ice cream too…"

"Yeah. Mine too."

"Hm… well… still… do you have any place in particular that you want to go? You probably know this place better than I do."

"You're kidding right? Me knowing this place better than you? Isn't it your job to know where these shops and things are?"

She rolled her eyes and looked over at him, "No, my job is to catch people for the Ministry. I don't necessarily have to know all the cities like the back of my hand. That's what maps're for. And I figured with you being a teacher and all last year that you might be able to navigate through this town a little better than I."

"You're forgetting that going out is one of those rare occasions for me that only happens once in… a while, I suppose. Last year, I probably came here less than you did… I only had to look for a couple of books and I was good for the whole year. So there."

Tonks looked over at him with a mock-annoyed expression. "Right then. Whatever. Oh! You've got a—hold on…" She reached over to the side of his ice cream, which happened to have a rather large run of ice cream oozing down the rippling squares of the cone. Extending a finger, she made to wipe the ice cream off, but accidentally brushed up against his hand in the process. Tonk quickly swept her finger upwards to catch the drop and brought it back to her lips, licking the excess off in an innocent gesture. "Sorry about that…"

"About what?" Remus inquired. The entire time, he had been watching her with a mixture of curiosity, amusement, and a hint of something else he couldn't quite put his finger on – no pun intended, he thought to himself distantly. Absentmindedly, he switched hands holding the cone and licked his finger, as if getting something she had missed… or something she'd left behind.

"Oh… I um… I'd brushed up on your hand – didn't mean to…" she replied uncomfortably.

Remus took his finger from his lips awkwardly, smiling and waving it around nonchalantly as if it were completely fine, saying, "Oh – no harm done."

For a moment, both of them locked eyes and oddly enough, both broke the gaze at the same time with an awkward laugh. They continued walking a few feet before Tonks broke their mutual silence.

"Listen… do you want to um… come back to my place and finish?"

"Finish what?" he replied somewhat dumbly.

Tonks smiled nervously, "Our ice cream of course. You silly."

"Right! Yes – ice cream. You completely read my mimd… Wow – you must be great at legilimens…" Remus felt as if he'd replied a little _too_ quickly.

"I suck at it, actually," she admitted a tad sheepishly, "Not my forte, if you know what I mean."

"Ah… I'm sure you're really not _that_ horrid at it… You read _my_ mind after all!" He laughed a little.

"Guess so," and she joined him in the laughter.

"So – how far away do you live?"

"Oh – um… up in a flat right there," Tonks pointed to a building no more than thirty feet away.

"I thought you said you didn't know the place!"

"I don't! I saw the building coming up a block ago and decided it best to go in while I still know where it is…"

Remus looked at her and had an expression on his face that screamed "What the hell? You're insane… but I still like you" and Tonks returned it with a look of "Well, sooooorry if I'm completely inept and pathetic sometimes." It took less than a second for the both of them to burst out into a fit of giggles.

And it didn't take long for Tonks to motion to Remus to stop in front of her building. It was a rather odd looking building with rust colored bricks badly mortared in certain places, leaving the little rectangles sticking halfway out. There were a few different balconies, all wrought from black iron, yet all were wrought differently from one another; some had swirls, while others looked rather ominous with arrow-headed pickets.

"What can I say?" she told him as he looked up at the rickety old building, "It's not glamorous, but it's home for now…"

Remus shrugged a little, "It's better than what I've got…" he commented quietly.

"I'm quite certain it's not," she reassured him cheerily as she opened the door for him to step inside the modest foyer.

He didn't answer her.

Up the three flights of stairs, they trekked in silence, licking at their droopy ice creams every now and again.

When they got to Tonks's flat, she tapped her wand gently on the doorknob and muttered a charm. The door swung open to reveal a very modestly decorated living area into which she swept into like royalty. Walking over to a rusty corduroy couch that matched the bricks on the outside of the complex, Tonks plopped down comfortably and kept licking at her ice cream, which by now had diminished to half the size of the cone. Remus followed her and sat at the other side of the couch, stretching his legs out. He had barely bitten into the rim of his cone.

"Remus! You've hardly gotten into your ice cream!" she exclaimed rather loudly.

He smiled at her and replied simply, "I like to savor things."

She only giggled girlishly as she stuffed the rest of her cone into her mouth. Not realizing just how big the last half of the cone turned out to be, Tonks nibbled away at it sheepishly inside her mouth. She wasn't quite able to look at him and keep a straight face, since she knew she had to have looked like a chipmunk. Instead, she chose to look at the funny looking flower vase (… or was it an urn?) her mother had given her a long time ago. Only when she had felt she had sufficiently chewed most of it, could she take her eyes off of the flower-vase-urn instead of concentration on keeping her ice cream in her mouth, rather than out in a sticky mess; this moment happened to be the same that she heard a loud crunch come from her right.

Remus had bitten into his cone.

Tonks looked over at him and crack a toothy smile.

Chewing slowly, Remus quirked an eyebrow at her, wondering what she was smiling about. "Hmm?" he inquired as he finished chewing and swallowed, his lips slightly parted in a half-smile.

For the second time, Tonks reached over to him, only this time she aimed for his face, rather than the cone. "You're dripping again…"

He wasn't, and he knew it; his face was completely devoid of any little vanilla specks, but to his chagrin, he could feel his cheeks starting to flush.

Slowly, Tonks drew a slender finger across the corner of his lips and for some inane reason, she kept going, across his partially opened lips.

Instinctively, reflexively, or subconsciously – Remus didn't know or care which – he let his tongue slowly graze the tip of her finger.

The two of them lingered like that for what seemed a day, but was less than a second before they split apart and went to their respective ends of the couch.

Tonks took a deep breath, her eyes back to focusing on the flower-vase-urn once again, chewing on her bottom lip without even comprehending that she was doing so.

Remus blinked a few times, unsure of _where_ to look, as he held his very melty ice cream cone in his hand. He could hear Tonks on the other side of the couch, breathing quite loudly. He blinked again. What had he just done? He couldn't have… he played the last minute back out in his head and immediately he thought it too far-fetched to have actually happened. Or was it? Yes. No. Maybe. Wait… what! He seemed to be at a loss of what to do; functioning properly was becoming a little too overwhelming for him at the moment and it didn't help when out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tonks leaning over the middle cushion of the couch to lick at his ice cream.

"You were right…" she said softly.

"About what?"

"About the vanilla…" She giggled softly and looked up at him, her eyes glazed with a bit of a sparkle.

"Oh. Right," he started, his head leaning slightly downwards so that he could see her, looking up at him playfully. "Um. You're on my lap," once again, he managed to sound more lame out loud than in his head as he pointed out the obvious.

"I know."

"Oh… just as long as you knew then. Didn't – didn't want you to um—"

She cut him off, "Your ice cream is melting still…"

"Right. Um. Right." The flush in his cheeks had reached its fullest potential as he lifted the cone to his mouth and licked at it clumsily. His tongue kept darting out and lapping up the sweet creamy liquid that was floating at the top of his cone.

Tonks watched him with a sort of adoring fascination and when he paused to give his icily cold throat a rest, she broke the silence. "Remus?"

"Mmm?"

"It um…" She changed the position of her hands on the sofa, giving her a better stance. "Appears as if…" She started to straighten out and lean in towards him. "You've… um…" She moistened her lips a little, letting her tongue slide across her lips; as she brought it back in, her teeth bit softly down at her lower lip, releasing it ever so slowly. "Got a tidge of vanilla…" She let her eyes flicker down to his lips. "Right…" She leaned in closer to him so that her nose was barely against his own. Their eyes were met; locked in an unbreakable gaze. Her voice had been thus far been reduced to a husky tone just above a whisper. He could feel her shallow and warm breath upon his own. "There." She leaned in the rest of the way, her lips caressing Remus's and gently kissing him; waiting, imploring, begging for him to open his mouth a little.

He let her in.

Every little quirky feeling that he had felt for her up to this point was released as he parted his lips. For every time he looked at her and saw a glimmering halo, he let her in; for every time that they _accidentally_ brushed up against her, he let her in; for every time that they caught each other's eyes and ignited the tiniest flame; he let her in. Naturally, that little metaphorical flame that danced inside of him whenever he laid eyes on her was raging as he kissed her back.

In fact, he retuned the kiss with such a fiery passion that it took Tonks aback a little bit. Only a little bit though. She kissed him back with the same force, if not more, as she bit hungrily at his bottom lip. Remus pushed through, his tongue grazing against her honey-flavored lips, courtesy of the lip balm she had put on before they went to Florean's. That soft and silent key unlocked her jaw and her hold on his lip, inviting him into a world of fervent warmth and treacle tart. Their tongues mingled together, gently at first, getting acquainted with each other and their surroundings. Though it wasn't long before exploration was shoved out of the way by dominance. Both Remus and Tonks fought for it greedily and clumsily as if neither had ever been this starved for contact in their lives.

Before long, the remainder of Remus' ice cream was pooling into a mushy puddle on the floor and he was instead preoccupying himself with the clasp on Tonks' robes. With slightly shaking fingers, he undid her robe and tore it off of her, revealing a fire-engine red, button-down tee that clashed horrendously with her bubble-gum hair – just the way she like it. Inwardly, he could feel himself groan as he saw the buttons… and the other buttons… and the other other buttons… Remus could have sworn that the longer he stared at the shirt, it started to grow more buttons. He was shaking enough as it was and he wondered vaguely if she had worn that shirt on purpose. There was only one thing for him to do: start unbuttoning. Suddenly feeling a bit dry eyed, Remus blinked as he reached towards the shirt and undid the first button with unsteady hands.

Tonks could feel the unmistakable trembling of Remus and his overactive nerves beneath as he started to undress her. She smiled down at him brightly, by now straddling his lap, her arms thrown around his neck. She leaned into him so that her lips touched his ear and whispered, "Need help with the buttons?" Her fingers twirled around the few scraggly, yet fluffy locks of hair at the base of his neck.

"No," he breathed, as it was all he could manage. He was on the fourth button now and still felt as if he had to do several thousand more. He moved on to the next button and his hand swept across the top of her bra. The feel of the soft curve of her chest was enough to send him over the edge and he paused for a few seconds, frozen in place.

Tonks giggled softly, still at his ear, "Looks like you need a bit of help after all…" She tugged gently on his hair and brought her hands to the bottom of her shirt. As she approached the hem of her shirt, she felt herself accidentally brush up a tad close to his crotch. She thought nothing of it until she realized that she too was shaking as she started feeding the little plastic discs through their respective holes. A cold sweat had started to prickle on the back of her neck just as Remus' had moments before.

He bit back a gasp when he felt her hand painfully near him and soon felt the familiar compression of space between his boxers and his trousers. He had since resumed unbuttoning, and Tonks' deftly working hands caught up to his klutzy ones, barely touching.

Tonks shrugged the shirt off lazily as if she were glad to be rid of the obnoxiously bright piece of fabric.

Remus let his mouth drop open slightly as he looked at her brassiere, a simple design of red and blue adorned with a little logo with an angular S at the middle clasp. Distantly, Remus remembered talking about this S thing with her on some previous occasion… something her Muggle father had liked as a boy. What was it? A… great hero… and awes—no… a super hero – that was it. A faint smile appeared on his lips as he pulled her forward and licked softly at her neck. Underneath her, between them, he could feel her expertly unclasping his ragged robe. Beneath that was a worn forest green tee shirt that had a patch with a hole in it at one of his shoulders.

She dropped her hands to his sides and slowly ran her hands up them, lifting the shirt slowly as she went along. Tonks leaned in and kissed the little hole on the shoulder. She knew better than to joke or giggle about it; his money situation was something that he couldn't control. Coaxing Remus' arms up, she pulled the shirt over his head before tossing it off onto the floor. Her brow knit almost imperceptibly for a split second as she looked at his chest, but it was a look he recognized all too well.

He blanched slightly as he saw her look over the scars that were peppered and scored across him. He looked away from her and suddenly found his gaze caught by an odd little flower vase (…or was it an urn?) just behind Tonks.

Tonks could see the hurt in is eyes and splashed across his features. She bit onto her lip as she took her gaze from his face to his chest and her expression softened. It looked as if Jackson Pollack had switched from paint to claws and used Remus as his canvas. Slowly and unsteadily, she reached out to him, running her fingers gingerly across his skin. Tonks felt herself drawn to him and started to kiss and lick at the scars tenderly as if trying to make amends for past hurts. Suddenly, she heard Remus mutter something that only faintly sounded like, "I'm wretched." She looked up again at his face, shaking her head vehemently. Tonks noticed with a pang that his expression had grown blank and distant, making him look older. "No, Remus," she started softly, "You're gorgeous."

He shook his head a little.

"Don't be like that! You _are_ gorgeous. You— you've got to be one of the most caring and generous people… ever. And it shines through. Every scar that's been smattered onto you only shows how brave and strong you are. They make you more appetizing, more beautiful, more _real_." She hoped it didn't sound as corny as it did in her had and opted to lean in and kiss him gently on the cheek. When she pulled away, Tonks realized with a twinge of pain in her heart that Remus' eyes had become glassy.

His breathing had become steady, but his heart was beating at an insane rate. Blinking back any tears that may have formed, Remus swallowed hard, dwelling on Tonks' words. He waited a moment, very aware of the gaze that was locked on him, thinking about what to do or say and decided there was only one option. Remus let a hand rest gently on the small of Tonks' back and let the other hold the nape of her neck as he lowered her down to the couch and planted an affectionate kiss on her forehead.

Tonks smiled faintly at him and let her hands drift to the button on his trousers. True to form, she had the button undone quickly and pushed down on Remus' pants and boxers slowly. She looked down at his arousal and her smile grew ever so slightly as she pulled off her own pants.

The two of them kicked their pants off with each other's help and the trousers landed in a heap on the floor. Pressed together, they kissed again, only this time, rather than being fervent and hurried, it was tender and nurturing for both of them. At the feeling of each other's contact, Remus and Tonks felt their breathing coming in shallow and rapid spurts.

She was fast becoming aware of his length as it was betwixt their trembling bodies, and as if reading _her_ mind, Remus whispered into her ear with a kiss, "Do… do you want to…?" One of her hands snaked up into his hair, holding his head close to her own and she nodded keenly.

Remus shifted his weight onto an elbow and tried to adjust.

Tonks let her eyes slide shut and she used her free hand to help guide him in.

He hovered for a moment before he pressed in delicately, trying not to hurt her at all.

Oddly enough, neither realized they had been holding their breath until they gasped for air at the contact.

Remus pulsed in and out of her little by little, his eyes closed too, as he could feel Tonks' warm breaths become ragged on his cheek. Only when she gripped onto his hair a little tighter and gasped into his ear, "Faster… please… Remus…" did he quicken his pace. It didn't take long for both of them to leave reality and become enveloped in their pulsating bodies, their gasping breaths, their sweet kisses and licks… All else ceased to exist and they became agonizingly aware of each other and the gap between two and one grew smaller as they could feel the other's thoughts racing through into their own minds. It wasn't a surprise to either of them that they came at the same time, Tonk's mouth ajar in a silent scream and Remus moaning gratifyingly next to her.

After a moment, he let himself down and lay on her, both floating contentedly in the afterglow. Remus cocked his head to the side a bit and kissed Tonks softly on the cheek before they both drifted off into dreams.

Ω Hogwarts, a spare staff bedroom. The night of the Death Eater attack on Hogwarts, also the night of Dumbledore's death. Nearing quarter to 3 a.m. (could also be construed as the _morning_ _after_ the attack for the bitterly anal). Ω

Remus turned to her, his brow knit and his mouth open indignantly.

"What?" asked Tonks, throwing her hands up.

"That was kind of abrupt. You just stopped. Didn't finish." He looked annoyed beyond belief.

It was her turn to be indignant and she snapped, "Need we go into that!"

"Yes!" he snapped back.

"You're so anal sometimes!"

"Yes, well at least I'm not glazing over things!"

"I didn't glaze over anything! That's exactly how it happened. And you know it too! You were all nervous… don't try to deny it."

His face grew sour. "Fine. I'll give you that. But the ending you gave _wasn't_ the end."

She chewed on her lip testily. "All right. If you want to talk about it, then we will."

"We'd better," he muttered.

There was tense silence for nearly a minute before Tonks added, "But you're acting just like you did that day…"

Remus thought about that for a moment and found he couldn't rebut that. He turned away from her and ran his tongue over his teeth bitterly.

ooooooooooooo

A/N #3: Wow! Another chapter! And I survived! Yes! Lol. Well, I hope that this was what all of you were looking for. I wanted their first time together to be kind of awkward an unorthodox…something that would be more real than that sort of "I'm on a heart shaped, satin bed and there's all this champagne and chocolate dipped strawberries" kind of crap that's quite prevalent in a lot of other stories. (Not that I have anything against that… it's quite refreshing sometimes.) All right. Well. Now that that's over with, I have to start on the next chapter. Thank you _all_ for being so supportive. The hit-count for this story has been through the roof and the reviews for it have been absolutely marvelous. I'm going to continue with my usual tradition of replying to everyone's reviews (because I think that if you take the time to review, then _I_ should at least take the time to acknowledge all of you awesome people!). Um… trying not to make this little note longer than the story itself. Right then. I think I'm going to be having an "author's notes" journal entry on a LiveJournal (not my current one) sometime soon. I'll be making a new one soon – I'll probably have it up by the next chapter – so comment on that and tell me if you guys'd like that, cuz I'm not sure I want to do it unless you guys actually want it…

Cheers!

Elf Girl 4 -

PS: Will be explaining both Tonks and Remus' very teenager-like conduct and actions and whatever (from this chappie) in the next chapter. Just so you know and don't go freaking out at me about how they're kinda ooc. I think.

PPS: This chapter (the story alone) is 4204 words. Just so you know.

An awesome and super and huge thanks to:

-TrinityDD- Wow! My first reviewer for this story! Thanks for liking it… I totally love Remy and Tonks together too… hope you liked this chapter!

-Tarren- omgomgomg I love you! Lol… Thanks for liking it! Keep reading!

-Van- I luff (yeah! That's a word!) you so much! Hope you didn't get too grossed out by this chapter.

-Katameran- Thanks for such a precise review. It's not really often that I get those. I hope that the dialogue in this chapter was up to snuff and not too like… out of whack. Tell me if it is or anything… Review again please!

-Painin Uranus- Love your pen name. Lol. Thanks, I know I'm mean like that. I love doing cliff hangers. It seems to be a specialty of mine. Hope that this a good chapter for you too! Keep reviewing!

-LuvzRock16- Thank you so much! I like to pride myself on not leaving a lot of details out of stories… And I love English too. I'm thinking about majoring in writing when I go to college, but I've got a long way to go and improve still. Glad it was deep. Hope you liked this chapter.

-Ultrahotpink- Thanks a mil! Hope this was posted soon enough! And I hope you review soon too!

-Lil-Runaway- Thanks very much! I'm glad you like my writing style and characterization. And thanks for adding me to you favorites… before this it took a while to get that to happen. I hope that you liked this chapter… another should be up soon.

-Mucada- Wow. I really enjoyed your review. It was really detailed and quite lovely and flattering. And I really liked your hotel room metaphor – it's so true! (and it made sense to me! Lol) Well, I hope that you have some more to say about this chapter, even if it is negative or constructive…. And thanks again. Keep reviewing please!

-Accursed Muffin- Love you pen name too! Lol… I'm glad you liked it… I'm trying to write as fast as I can and post even faster… The next chapter should be up shortly.

-Xanya-forever- Lol. I know I was being evil with that cliff hanger and I'm being evil with this chapter too (I think…)… Sorry about that… but I totally love doing it. Well… Your review was very flattering, I liked it a lot and yes… I totally agree with you that Lupin is extremely attractive and desirable and shaggable and everything! I hope that the characterization in this one wasn't too off. Tell me what you think!

-Hopeforthefuture- I'm glad you loved it. I should be updating again soon. Review again please!

-Real-fan05- Thanks for the review. I'm glad you thought it was good and nice and all that jazz. Hope you liked this chapter.

-Peetie- Yes! A cliff hanger… and another one! Lol… So a lot happened that night… and as for this night… you'll just have to wait and see… Lol… Hope you liked it!

-Aljinon- Thanks! I'm happy you thought it was so intense… that's awesome. I hope that you liked this chapter just as much!

-The-Serious-Padfoot- I'm so glad that you decided to check this one out too. I read the words 'great author' and was all like… I luff you. Lol. Platonically of course! Anyways… I'll try and get going again on the Draco one… Hope you liked this chapter.

-DelightfullyEccentric22- I'm really glad you liked this story! I love Remus/Tonks fics and I hope you review again!

-Zazolia- Wow. I'm touched that this is your first review for an HP fic! Thanks! So they got together for that one night… now you'll just have to keep reading and see what else happened that night… Hope you liked it… keep reading and reviewing please! And I loved the 6th book too… Awesome.

Thanks to everyone else who read it, but didn't review. I love you guys too! xox


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own any of these characters. They're all J.K. Rowlings. Hell.

Okay. So… if you've been skimming through and haven't caught onto the fact that this story has MAJOR SPOILERS for THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE, then you're seriously deranged. Um… this is the last time I'm posting this particular bit of information because honestly, you guys should know.

A/N: This story deals a lot with flashbacks and whatnot – hence the setting, date, time stuff… I'm not quite sure how much detail (like actual dates as in May 22 or just significant happenings… like… the day Harry gets whisked away from the Dursleys for the 143rd time) I want to go into on each SDT (setting, date, time) heading or if I'm going to stay consistent with the format of each one whenever something changes. Just know that you'll be amply warned of a SDT change with some symbols surrounding the SDT. _(This is the last time I'm posting this A/N because I think that it's been ground into you enough after 3 chapters. So again, if something weird happens, you'll be amply warned.)_

ooooooooooooo

Ω The living room of Tonks' flat in Diagon Alley. The same day (nearly 2 years ago). Almost 10 in the evening. Ω

Tonks blinked a few times, it always took a while for her to wake up. She tilted her head to the side a bit and felt a fuzzy bit of hair. Smiling brightly, she twisted her head a little bit more and inhaled deeply. He smelled a little bit of vanilla and the air outside Diagon Alley, but also of… something wonderful she couldn't quite think of. It's just _Remus_, she thought to herself delightedly and she kissed the back of his head softly. Her smile grew a little more broadly as she thought of what had transpired during the day. And as she shifted one of her legs, she realized that they hadn't even had the energy to get dressed. Looking out the window, Tonks could see that it wasn't even daytime anymore and that they had slept everything off. She shrugged inwardly a bit and snuggled up next to Remus again, closing her eyes once more.

It wasn't long before she heard a muffled, "Tonks? Are you up?" And she nodded, "Yeah, I am. Did I wake you?" He shook his head and his hair tickled her cheek pleasantly before he turned his head to face hers.

"Nah," he told her.

She kissed him on the cheek, "Liar."

Remus returned the gesture and whispered, "So?"

Tonks only smiled back at him and ran a socked foot along one of his.

He looked at her, his eyes darting all over her face, soaking her in. She was so different than anyone he'd ever been with. She had her own style, her own state of being. Tonks wasn't that sort of conventional girl that everyone else seemed to be vying for. She didn't listen to everyone else. She did what she wanted… hell—she had pink hair for god's-sake. Pink hair and… he looked down her figure discreetly, a divine body… and… knee-high, rainbow toe-socks. He grinned.

"What?"

"Your socks. They're very amusing."

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Two different kinds of socks can be amusing _too_..." she mused.

"Right. And the fact that one is all long and scratchy and the other is all full of holes is generally funny too…" he said sarcastically, though his delivery was joking rather than scathing.

"Generally." She grinned toothily back at him.

"All right. Generally, then."

Tonks straightened up on the couch, leaning on her elbows; Remus took that as a cue to sit up and he scooted to the other side of the couch, letting her legs rest on his lap. He gave the fuzzy fabric on her shins a pat and started rubbing his hand across them absentmindedly, just looking for something to do. "Do you know what time it is?" he asked conversationally.

She looked at the window and replied cheekily, "Well…if you ask me… and you are. Um. Judging by the lack of sun. Um. Not daytime."

Remus chuckled, "An excellent observation you've made there… Definitely not one I could have made on my own."

"Shut up Remus."

He stuck his tongue out at her impudently.

"Did you know that I can't wiggle my toes?"

Remus blinked a few times at her. "Um. No, actually… but seriously… these socks are simply—"

"Marvelous? Awesome? Kick-ass? Yes, thank you, I know," she smirked.

"Absofuckinglutely, Tonks…" he told her brightly as he played with one of her toes.

Tonks stifled a giggle. "No… don't…"

Remus arched a brow. "Do what? This?" He poked at her toes again.

She shook her head. "Don't do that…"

He chuckled again, "Oh… I don't know if I can stop…" And he tickled her with both hands, "Someone looks as if they're extremely ticklish…"

Trying to squirm out of his grip, she barely managed to say through her laughter, "Y-y-yes… s-s-s-so s-stop it-t-t-t!"

He shook his head and let one of his hands trail up her leg, squeezing the sides of her leg just above her knee, and in turn making her double over in a fit of giggles. "R-r-remusssss!"

"Yes, Tonks?" he said slyly.

"St-t-top-p be-f-fore I h-h-hex you into-to-to next weeeeeeeeeeeeek! R-r-remus!"

Remus couldn't contain his own amusement anymore and stopped tickling her, for he too was doubling over with laughter.

A few minutes passed and their giggles subsided to the occasional hiccup of a snigger. Back to their original position on the couch, with Tonks' legs draped across Remus' lap, they looked at each other contentedly, hints of smiles dancing across their features.

"You know what Remus?" she asked him softly.

"Hmm?"

"I really like you."

Remus blinked. "Excuse me?"

"I… I really like you." She bit onto her lip.

"That's _it_?"

Tonks frowned, "What do you mean 'that's it?' It's a _lot_ coming from me. I don't do this often."

His face grew noticeably harder, his eyes steely and his lips slightly pursed.

She paused a moment, she was confused about his sudden twist in attitude. "What did you expect me to say?"

Remus barely opened his mouth. "I don't know. I was probably looking into this a bit too much."

"You don't… um… _do you_? We've only _just_… Remus. Come on. You can't expect me to…" Tonks looked at him with concern, he had turned away from her and seemed to be dazing off at that damn flower-vase-urn. Tonks' face softened a bit as she asked, "Do you?" Her voice had been reduced to little more than a whisper, "love me?"

His reply was inaudible, but she could make out the words leaving his lips, "I don't know." Remus looked completely unguarded, his face troubled and his eyes cast down to where the wall and floor seemed to meet. He was slumped over a little, his shoulders no longer straight and thrown back. Tonks had known him to have his _moods_ sometimes, but she had never seen him so… vulnerable. It felt like it was a sin to watch such a sight; she couldn't hold her gaze on him for more than a moment before averting her eyes elsewhere. Fucking Merlin, she thought to herself, he… lov—no. He didn't say it. He's… he's just confused right now. He's just… just…

Nothing she said to herself could shake that thought, that feeling. It wasn't until he spoke that she focused her attention back onto him.

"Tonks, we've been acting like teenagers all day today. The little giggles, the stolen looks at each other… and now _this_… Merlin…" he didn't sound like himself at all. He was so quiet, so overthrown.

"Look at it like this, Remus. Do you honestly think I care how I act all the time? If I feel something then I'm not going to stifle it and let it suffocate inside of me! Fucking look at my hair." She tried to lighten the mood a little and ran her slender fingers through her pink hair with a nervous laugh.

Remus shook his head a little, smiling sadly. "You know, sometimes I wonder how you even passed the test to be an auror."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean!" she said loudly. She had no idea what he meant, and frankly, it _hurt_ for him to say such a thing.

"You can't even find where you live!" It was his turn to raise his voice.

She threw her arms up in the air before she folded them heatedly; "Well I'm _sorry_ if I didn't quite mention that I _just_ moved in like a week ago. And you expect me to know my way around the entirety f Diagon Alley? I've had other things to do with my time. All right?"

"That doesn't change the fact that you could be pregnant right now!" He looked as if he were about to stand up with fervent emotion.

"What!" She was incredulous.

Remus' voice had settled just a bit. "You didn't cast a contraceptive charm before we… you know."

"Would it kill you to lighten up a bit I highly doubt that I'm pregnant right now." She rolled her eyes dubiously.

"You _could_ be, Tonks. Are you really this nonchalant and careless about this sort thing?" The tone of his voice stung her and she couldn't believe what he was saying.

It was altogether too instinctive of her to reply and defend herself with, "Are you really this uptight about this? I guess I somehow failed to notice that enormous stick up your ass when you were fucking me…" The moment that she let it tumble from her tongue, she regretted it.

Remus' voice was suddenly reduced to a whisper. "It's not like you would think about _it_ anyways…"

"What are you talking about?" Tonks let her own voice settle down as well, not wanting to yell at him any more. She just wanted this to be over and she was certain that he wanted it to end too. The only problem was that he kept dragging things out of the mud, not shutting up about things and thinking them through.

"About what I am."

"What?"

Tonks could barely hear him. "You _know_ I'm werewolf."

"And? What has that to do with anything?" To her, it was nothing of consequence unless it was a full moon. She glanced out of the window casually and saw it was at half-moon; she was fine there. Now, what was he talking about?

"I… If you were pregnant then… then I don't know what would happen to the child…" He paused a second, unsure of how to word himself. It was so hard for him to articulate what he wanted to say and have it make sense without sounding crude and vulgar. But deep down, he couldn't help feeling crude and vulgar sometimes – it's what he was. He was so animalistic sometimes and he was in agony with the fact that that part of him was so different than how he normally was. How he _wanted_ to be. He couldn't think of any other way to say it and whispered, "If it would be normal… or like… _me_."

Tonks blinked and stared at him, disbelieving about how he pictured himself. God, I just want to hold him, she thought dejectedly, he's so alone… Fuck… I _can't_. "Remus you _are_ normal… and I'm sorry but—"

"I can't believe you didn't cast a charm…" His voice held that same biting tone it had minutes before.

"You're still hung up on that? Talk about a one-track mind." She rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh. Sometimes he just didn't get it; a lot of times… but _lots_ of times he did get it… but… other times… "Never mind. Muggle saying." She made a mental note to try not to use those around him. If she had to keep explaining them all the time they lost their humor, or their bite. Instinctively, she began to defend herself again. "Either way, you're neglecting to mention the fact that _you_ didn't stop to cast the charm either!"

He ignored that comment and bit back harshly. "Did you plan to come up here?"

She shrugged a little and angled her head. "No. It just sort of happened." It was the truth. She really hadn't known what was going to happen today. Ice cream was enough for her, but inviting him up was also nice. Just not premeditated. But this... _This_ attack that he was shoveling out at her… not nice.

Remus cocked an eyebrow, his lip curling slightly. "Somehow I don't really believe that."

Tonks' mouth dropped open at his behavior. She usually wasn't one to comment on manners and behavior and whatnot, but this was unacceptable and what was more was that he wasn't himself just now. She didn't care how she sounded to him now. If he was going to accuse her of… what? _Seducing_ him? She almost laughed out loud. Well… if he was going to blame her then she sure as hell wasn't going to be so innocent to him anymore. "Sweet Merlin! You're acting like such a _woman_ Remus!"

Remus' mouth found itself ajar. He couldn't fathom that she had just said that to him. He _wasn't_ acting like that… was he? He was only trying to look out for her. For them. Well… it didn't really look as if it was working at the moment. But… it was necessary. She would thank him later… he hoped. Maybe… He cared for her so much… if she really were pregn—no. He had to drop that subject. They'd ground it into oblivion and it was ruining the day. Suddenly, he became painfully aware of how naked he was. A rather hole-filled sock and an itchy, nearly knee-high sock were not his idea of being properly clothed. He stood up, lifting Tonks' legs off and gently setting them down onto the couch-cushion; he didn't have the heart to just drop her. He couldn't…

He untangled his trousers and boxers from her jeans and panties and stepped into them with a bit more hopping and jumping about than he would have liked.

Tonks almost laughed at the effort he put into putting his things on suavely… almost.

Remus only glared evilly at his pants and walked around to the back of the couch, groping around for his robe and shirt. Slipping the shirt on with the ease and effortlessness that only a guy could have, he straightened out the larger wrinkles on the forest green fabric. He picked up his robe and with nearly undetectably shaking fingers, clasped it. After smoothing himself out, he simply told her, "I'm leaving."

She had gathered that he had wanted to get out by the time he started fumbling with his boxers and she watched him with a sort of melancholy glare. "Fine. The door's right there."

Ω Hogwarts, a spare staff bedroom. The morning after the Death Eater attack on Hogwarts. About 3 a.m. Ω

Tonks stared at him fiercely, her brownish eyes sizzling. "You're a bleeding hypocrite, Remus."

He quirked an eyebrow in confusion, "What?"

"You're leaving out that part where I told you that I didn't think you were the shag 'em and leave 'em type. Not someone who did flings or one-night stands and leaves. And then… you slammed the door in my face." The volume in her voice seemed like some unseen knob was controlling it; as she talked she seemed to lose her vigor, not to mention give the appearance of becoming smaller. She looked away by the time she had finished, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes.

Watching her was like being tortured for Remus. He couldn't bear seeing her so hurt. As he spoke, his voice held the faintest quiver, "I was angry. I wasn't feeling like myself."

She didn't look up, as tears were coursing down her cheeks in meandering streams and she couldn't bring herself to show him. "Remus. Why are you doing this?"

Her voice was barely there, and Remus had to struggle to hear her before he replied, "Doing what?"

"Fighting me."

She was breaking him. Little by little, he felt himself wanting to hold her… she seemed like she was so alone… So hurt… so… _Fuck_. He couldn't hold her… not yet… "I'm not fighting you. I'm just telling the truth. And it seem like you've just proved that I'm not good enough for you anyways."

"No." She shook her head. "It was just … _this _is just a fight. We can get past it. We did that time…" She trailed off, losing her ability to articulate just what she wanted to say.

Remus couldn't help but say, "And look at where we are now."

"But look at where we were _then_." Tonks couldn't give up. Tiny stings of hope were slowly leaking out with her tears, now dripping onto her lap, but she knew that not all hope was lost… it just… couldn't be…

"_Again_. Look at where we are now." He didn't know why he kept talking. He wanted to walk out… he wanted to stop being so stubborn…

"Well it's not my fault that we're like this." A little strength found itself into her voice.

He blinked, maybe he was wrong about being stubborn…"But you're blaming it on me. Funny way of winning me over."

"Oh _do_ shut up Remus. It wasn't either of our faults." Tonks was too tired to argue with him… she wanted him to stop this insane game…

"So you're going to blame _him_?" His voice grew harsh. She wasn't going to talk about _him_ like that…

"Of course I'm not blaming him." Exhaustion was creeping into her voice.

"It certainly sounds like it."

"Well I'm not. What happened happened and we can't change that." Exhaustion crept back out of her voice and was replaced by a little bit of bitterness.

"Damn straight." Bitterness was prevalent in his words as well.

Tonks was slightly shocked at to how he had responded and it showed. "I didn't mean _that_ way! We can still fix what _we've_ got." This war was taking too much out of both of them and she couldn't help but hate everything at that moment.

Remus gave up. He had no fight left in him. He was tired. It had been a long day. Nothing was going to be able to happen that would prove to be positive for either of them. "Let the dead bury the dead, Tonks."

"But _we_ aren't dead Remus! We're neither dying nor dead! We are very much alive at the moment." She finally looked up, trying to put some sense into him.

Remus' heart broke when he saw what pain and love was emanating from her. Her eyes were red and her nose was beginning to go pink. He could tell that she was fighting the urge to collapse into his arms. He hated himself for it, but, "At the moment," was all he could manage to croak out as he looked at her dolefully.

ooooooooooooo

A/N: So! Chapter 3 is done! I hope that you all like it… I had sort of a hard time writing it, cuz I went into this zone where I tried to channel the characters (wow… I sound like I'm on crack or something right now… I'm quite certain I'm not though!), and it was just sorta rough. Meh. Well. At this very moment, I'm going to try and set up a LiveJournal for my writing rants right now… Okay! Got it! So I'll post the url on my bio. I should update soon. Well… Other than that… um. I'm just going to warn you guys that my internet at my house has been down for nearly 2 months, so it's REALLY random when I'll be able to update (I have to go to other people's houses to do it…)… soooo yeah. Just don't freak out if I don't post for a couple days or whatever. Kay? Right then.

Cheers!

Elf Girl 4

PS: This chapter is about 3008 words… if you needed to know…

Woah! A big shout out to:

-Aljinon- Lmao… totally hot stuff! Or at least I was hoping so! Btw, you'll just have to see where they take their relationship… so keep reading and reviewing! Thanks!

-Jadeddiva- Thanks! I'm looking forward to seeing where I take this as well… lol… I hope you liked this chapter, and review again!

-Real-fan05- Which songs? Do tell! Maybe I'll do more like… song-fics or something… Lol… unless they're kinda cheesy… maybe not then…. Lmao. J/k. Thanks for liking it! Keep reading and reviewing, please!

-Lupin-girl88- Thanks so much! I was so worried about the smut and the maybe-ooc-ness… I'm glad that they're how you pictured them and I hope that you liked this chapter (and hopefully the next ones to come…)!

-Xanya-forever- Thanks very much! Lol… smut virgins unite! And I'm really glad that it was like… smutty enough and like… what smut should be. I didn't want it to be too weird, you know? Oh – and I _was_ thinking about the chocolate thing for Remus, but… I don't know why I switched back over to vanilla. Oh well, I guess that writing at 2 in the morning does things to you… lol… Well, I guess it's just habit for me to do cliff hangers. Hope this was soon enough of an update for you! Keep reading and reviewing!

-Jess!- Thank you! Wow. That was a great review… I'm glad that it isn't agonizingly boring. I always get worried about that when I start to do hard-core descriptions and like… characterization. Hopefully I'm still doing well… Keep reading!

-Whenshewaselectric- Yay! Thanks for liking it! I hope that you keep reading… I feel so special being one of the good Remus/Tonks writers… :D

-Lady Underworld- Thank you! I'm glad you like it! And of _course_ I'll keep going with it…. You just have to keep reading and reviewing for it!

-Just a fan- Aww…. I'm sorry that I'm so… erm. Evil. Muhahaha! Lol… j/k. Thanks for the review, loved it! And yeah… Remus has fucked things up… but you'll just have to keep reading to see if he fucks stuff up some more or… if he fixes things… or maybe a bit of both. :D Lol. Describing my story as 'fantabulous' just makes my day.

-DelightfullyEccentric22- Cool pen name. Thanks! And yeah…. Heart shaped beds and strawberries and whatnot are just… not Remus and Tonks – style. I'm glad you liked it and I hope that you liked this one and I hope that you keep reading! (Wow I said 'I hope' WAY too many times just then…. . oops.)

-The-Serious-Padfoot- Lol… Thanks for another great review, Padfoot… and the story huggles you back, btw. Lol… Hope you liked this chapter too!

-Lil-runaway- Thanks! I'm glad it was tasteful. I hate smut that's all ishy and stuff… Bleh. Well… Thanks again! I'm glad you liked it and happy there wasn't anything wrong with it! Hope you feel the same about this chapter!

-Tonks79- Thank you! I'm glad you like the writing and ideas! Hope you liked this chapter! Keep reading!

-Weird-and-wonderful- Lol… Yeah. Update. Thanks for liking the story! Hope you keep reading!

-Yasmine Lupin- Lol… I'm glad that you like my fic that much! Hope that this chapter was enough to sate you for a little bit… the next chapter should be up soon, okay? Lol… and Remus is totally _mine_! Lol. J/k.

-TrinityDD- Thank you! Glad you thought it was lovely… The ice-cream part as well as the steamy part! Hope you liked this chapter and hope you keep reviewing! Thanks!

-Sarcasm is my life(amy-mwpp- Thanks for liking it! Hope you keep reading and reviewing!

-robingl13dr- Thanks! I'm glad that you like my style… I'm not sure if your review went through all the way though… it sort of just cut off. Oh well… Just review some more, I guess… nudge, nudge… lol… Hope you liked this chapter!

-Painin Uranus- Lol… yeah, your name is pretty darn cool. :) Lol… That song… eeek. Anyways, I'm glad that you liked the chapter… and I'm glad that you're along for the ride – so keep reading and reviewing, please – I love your reviews!

-Princess Persephone- Mmmhmmm… Quite wonderful indeed. Thanks for liking my writing style! Lol… 'Brilliant' gah… I love that. And I'm glad that the awkwardness was evident there… I wanted to make it so that it wasn't _too_ perfect, you know? Well, hope that you liked this update!

-Soccershorti- Wow, thanks! Lol… It's awesome for me to hear that it was _that_ good that you felt like you were her… Thanks very much though, I'm glad you liked the smut. Keep reading, ok?

-Moo-cow- Lol… I like your pen name! I'm so happy that you liked it that much! Wow… And I'm honored that I'm your first HP review! Yay! Hope you liked this update! Keep reading!

-TuRn- Sweet! Glad you liked it! Happy that you think it's well written. And I'm trying as hard as I can to get the next chapters written up. Hope you liked this chapter enough to review again!

-Rockin-J-Fanfic-Chick- Thanks very much! I'm happy the flashback stuff wasn't too bad! And tchya! Totally had to have happened before! Lol… Graphic and detailed, eh? Do you think I should tone it down a bit? Well… hope you liked this chapter…. And yeah, more flashbacks are on the way… Thanks again! Keep reviewing!

-Brownie77- Yay! I'm glad you loved it… And I think that you should do a fic! I'd like to read it and I'm sure other people would too! (Just don't filch my ideas! Lol…) Hope you liked this post! Keep reading and reviewing!

A huge thanks to everyone else who's been reading! Thanks guys and gals!


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own any of these characters. They belong to J.K. Rowling. Such a lucky woman.

A/N: There's A HELL OF A LOT of place, date, time changes that go on in this chapter. Just read each heading thoroughly and you should be fine. I think… (I checked all the headings like 3 times over, but knowing me, I'll have missed one and it'll be something completely different than what's relevant.) Sorry if I mussed anything up. Just tell me and I'll change it later. Happy reading!

ooooooooooooo

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place. Before the day that certain members of the Order pick up Harry Potter from the Dursleys. 4 o'clock in the afternoon, otherwise known as teatime. Ω

"Tonks, would you be a dear and get the kettle off of the stove?" Molly asked loudly from the edge of the sink; she was preparing potatoes for dinner later that night.

"Sure thing, Molly," Tonks replied and she walked jauntily over to the stove, flicking her wand and letting it dance its way through the air and onto the hotplate sitting on the table. The lemon-shaped tea-cozy instantaneously found itself flying through the air and onto the kettle, snuggling down and hugging it closely.

Molly didn't look over her shoulder before asking, "Did you put the tea into the pot, dear?"

Tonks stared at her wide-eyed, wondering how she could tell such things. 'Well… having a million children might be why she's so keen on everything…' she grinned to herself before stepping over to the pantry. On her way, she bumped into a tall man reading a newspaper as he walked into the kitchen. "Oof! Sirius! Watch where you're going, will you, please?"

He brought the newspaper down and grinned at her insolently, his teeth sparkling as he did so, "Sure thing, Tonks." And he lifted the paper back up and walked blindly over to the table, sitting down. "Molly? Are you two having tea?" Sirius asked, still not glancing up from The Daily Prophet.

"We sure are, dear. Do you want to join us?"

"I'd love to," he grinned again, and though no one could see it, all in the room could tell he was.

"Sirius? Is there anyone else that might want some tea? Or biscuits? They're baking in the oven… if you could just go over and pop them onto a plate, that'd be nice…" Molly enjoyed having a little kitchen army that would do what she wanted at her beck and call. It was a nice change from being at the Burrow where her children would groan and complain all through the tasks she gave them.

Sirius folded the newspaper and walked over the oven, magicking the little cookies out of the oven and getting a gold plate from a nearby cupboard to present them on. "MOONY!" he yelled suddenly, closing the oven door with a kick.

"Padfoot! What?" came the soft cry from another room far off in the house.

"THERE'S TEA – DO YOU WANT SOME? …BISCUITS TOO!"

By the time Sirius had finished yelling, Remus stood in the doorway, about to lean on an elbow against the doorframe. It took a moment before he saw Tonks rummaging about in the pantry for some tea and he misplaced his elbow, slipping a little on the doorjamb and eliciting a bark-like laugh from his friend.

"Smooth, Reems." Sirius smiled at him.

Remus rolled his eyes and pushed himself out of the door and walked in, "Hello Molly," he paused a moment, looking at Tonks' back, still looking for tea, "Hi Tonks," he said a little softer before standing close to Sirius, bringing himself nose to nose with him, "Hey."

The two glared at each other, locked into some sort of odd staring game before Remus blinked, his eyes becoming extremely dry, and Sirius sat down triumphantly. "Got you Remus."

"_This_ time… but let's not forget the last _four_ times that you lost…" Remus quirked an eyebrow at Sirius, as he was now self-satisfied with his biting reply.

Sirius rolled his eyes and hit the newspaper playfully at Remus.

The werewolf ignored the swipe and said politely, "These cookies look marvelous, Molly…"

Everyone could tell that Mrs. Weasley was gushing like she always did with any compliment on her cooking. "They're coconut macaroons, Remus. And thank you. Took me all of what? Hm… almost 2 hours."

A snort came from the pantry.

"What?" the elder woman snapped.

"Took you like half an hour!" Tonks giggled as she emerged from the pantry, successful in her hunt for some tea. The tea cozy found itself sliding off of the pot as Tonks stood over it and let the little bags steep inside.

Both men stifled their laughter as Molly told Tonks off about how preparation and cleaning and finding ingredients were _always_ counted as part of the time it took to make something. Tonks let one of her hands snake behind her back and imitate someone blabbing on and on and on as Molly berated her lightheartedly, and Remus and Sirius found it harder to stay quiet.

"And if you can't find the recipe then of course—what are you doing! Don't think I don't know what you're doing!"

Tonks turned around and put on a sarcastic-oh-darn-am-I-in-trouble face for the boys, looking at each of them. When she focused on Remus, she subconsciously found herself lingering just a little bit before turning back to Mrs. Weasley and taking the rest of the good-natured, verbal beating. "—Of course you've got to look for it all over and it could sometimes take up to half an hour! I know… it's rough, Molly. A really rough job…" Tonks condescended sweetly.

Molly put down her potato and let it float in the air, peeling and washing itself. "All right. Enough of _that_. Let's eat." And she sat down at the table, opposite Sirius, leaving the other space for Tonks to eat across from Remus.

Tonks wondered if she had meant to do that, but didn't say anything or have any looks to give her thoughts away. Instead, she reached for a biscuit and tipped a cup over onto a saucer, "Bugger…" she muttered.

"Oh, no harm done, dear, it's empty," Molly said soothingly as she righted the cup and saucer, pouring some tea into it, giving it to Tonks and reaching for another set to pour some tea for someone else.

The rest of tea went rather uneventfully, full of Molly talking more about finding recipes and choosing the _right_ ones and sticking with them, no matter how wrong they seemed to be, because they would always turn out wonderfully in the end.

Remus felt he was reading into it a bit much, but he could have sworn that Molly was lecturing both he and Tonks and hardly paying any attention to Sirius at all. Though what _they_ had to do with _recipes_ seemed to be over his head. He blinked a few times and munched timidly on a cookie, looking intently at Mrs. Weasley, trying not to ignore her outrightly.

Sirius tried not to smirk at Molly's rather unguarded attempt to talk to Remus and Tonks about their little… well… Sirius didn't quite know _what_, but there was definitely something going on with them. Every other time they saw each other, they ended up doing stupidly klutzy things or acting too stiffly or any number of other things. Besides, Sirius knew something was up with Remus. He hadn't seen him act this way in a long time. Granted, he hadn't seen him for a twelve-year stretch, but still… There was something different about the old rascal, and Sirius was determined to find out what. He swirled his cup and let the dregs settle to the bottom of the greenish liquid, "Right then… Um, Remus? Can you help me with something up in my room? There's this thing—"

Remus looked up from his own tea dregs, seeing some odd formation that meant something or other… he didn't really care for tea reading anyways though. "Hm? Okay, let's uh—let's go then, if that's all right with you two," he looked at Tonks and Molly. "Oh wait… do you need help cleaning up? We can stay if need be."

Sirius wanted to smack him on the head as he stood up from the table, "You're both fine, aren't you? I'm sure it won't take more than five minutes. It's only a few tea dishes…"

Molly nodded. "You two can go now."

Remus smiled, getting up after Sirius, "All right, thanks. The tea was lovely, by the way," he looked at Tonks, half-smiling as he spoke to her about the tea, but both Molly and Sirius were convinced it was something more than _tea_.

As soon as they heard the distinct sound of footsteps traveling up the stairs, Molly turned to Tonks with a sort of zing that was reminiscent of girls twittering about at sleepovers. "So dear? What are you two little lovebirds up to?"

Tonks' head whipped around, trying to conjure up a confused look, "I've got no idea what you're talking about…"

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; Sirius' room. The same day. A few minutes later. Ω

Sirius lunged towards his bed and leapt onto it, making it creak madly as he rode the bouncy shockwaves the mattress had. He laid back, his arms resting behind his head and his legs crossed at the ankle.

"You know Padfoot, you still act like we're in the fifth year…"

Sirius gave him a reproachful look, "Oh really? Look who's still playing that staring game and bragging about winning!"

Remus raised his brows, "I wasn't the only one bragging! If you'd have won those four times in a row, you'd be just as smug if not smugger."

"So?" Sirius retorted, shrugging awkwardly with his hands still behind his head.

Remus rolled his eyes again and plopped down onto the bed next to his friend, leaning against the bedpost, one knee was cocked and brought up to his chest and the other leg was dangling off of the bed. "Anyways," he said, trying to get the subject off of their insanely boyish behavior.

Sirius found a segue into the topic that he was sure Molly was pressing upon Tonks downstairs at this very moment. A very bad segue, but one nonetheless. Nonchalantly, he said, "But I see you're taking a long time to win at some other game you're playing…"

Remus stared at him, wide-eyed, "What the hell're you talking about Padfoot?"

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; the kitchen. The same day. Simultaneously or a few minutes later... whatever. Ω

Molly felt that she had nearly broken her victim. Just a few more pokes and prods and Tonks would be singing like a lark. Or that's at least what Mrs. Weasley had hoped to accomplish. "Come now dearie, it's not as if I'll be telling anyone. Your secret will be absolutely safe with me…" she told Tonks, her voice sickeningly sweet, like the caramel on a candied apple, oozing with coercion.

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; Sirius' bedroom. That very same day. A few minutes later than the other few minutes ago… Ω

"Come on man… you remember that one bird… um… what was her name? Named after some Muggle literary something or other… When we were in the 6th year? Remember?" Sirius had sat up and had a look on his face as if he was about to find a huge vat of gold; his lips were curled into a sly smirk and his eyes had a glint in them reminiscent of what he looked like in his Animagus form.

"Rosalind," Remus muttered.

"Who?"

"Rosalind…" he repeated, rolling his eyes, "That was a _fucking_ _disaster_. Why're you bringing it up?"

Sirius pointed a finger at Remus, getting a little closer, "Well, you remember how you were with her at first?" He was getting excited now… maybe a little bit _too_ excited. He sat back a bit, trying to play everything coolly.

Remus ignored the question and arched an eyebrow in inquisition. "I know that antsy sort of movement. What do you want? Your eyes have something secret written all over them." He narrowed his eyes as if trying to peer down into Sirius and find out what he was fishing for.

"Just tell me what it was like for you at first with her." Sirius had started to use his hands and gesticulate what he was trying to get at, as if using more body parts might lure Remus into giving in and biting the bait.

"It was lovely," was all Remus said; he was somewhat annoyed at Sirius and his stupid little game… and where was that thing that needed to be helped with?

"Right. And I'm getting those vibes I got back then again—"

Remus cut him off, "What? Like you want to have something that you can't have? That your best friend has, but _you_ don't have so now you have to go and outdo him? Hmmm?" He looked very smug with his assumption. It wasn't pleasant that 6th year when Sirius had first gone after his girlfriend, but found there was no way that he was going to get her – so he went onto some other girl _and_ her friend. Looking back on it, Remus could have laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it all, but back then it was quite a big deal. A big enough deal for the entire house to be gossiping about it, and Remus had to admit that it wasn't so bad to be in the limelight for a little while – but only for a little while.

Sirius put on an expression of mock astonishment, and sounded more than a little like an old woman as he spoke, "I would never!"

Remus chuckled, "Right – then out with it you old dog. What is it?"

"I was _saying_," he paused for dramatic effect, "that I was getting those vibes back. Like… you've actually got something that you're happy about. Or somewhat happy, I guess… It's hard to tell these days when you're always off in some other room when a _certain_ _someone_ else is in the room that I'm in…"

Blinking, Remus scrambled to find words to shoo Sirius off of the subject, but he couldn't think of anything to say. 'Am I being _that_ painfully obvious?' he thought dreadfully to himself. He almost smacked a hand to his head in frustration, but thought not to. His stunned silence wasn't sounding reassuring to himself and he was sure that hitting himself would be the cherry on top of the Remus-can't-control-himself sundae.

"Ahhhh," Sirius looked incredibly smug, "So it seems that I've hit a nerve? Perhaps I would be able to guess who this lucky lady is?" The smirk had extended to all of his features, making him quite animalistic in the way that he had cornered Remus. It was as if he were a puma cornering a shrew between certain death by jaws and certain death by falling off a cliff… not an encouraging thought for Remus.

"You're full of _it_ and you're full of yourself. I have no clue what you're talking about," Remus said quickly, futilely trying to veer Sirius off of the topic. If Sirius knew that he had a… a… what? A… _thing_. Yes, that's what he would call it. A thing for Tonks… to whom he was _related_… well… what would happen? 'He would probably rub it in every chance he got,' Remus thought acrimoniously.

"Is it… _Mrs. Weasley_?" Sirius barked out, very blatantly joking.

"Dreadfully in love with her. How did you guess?" Remus' voice was monotonously dripping with acidic sarcasm.

Sirius clapped his hands together loudly, "Ha! So _that's_ it! You're in love with someone!"

Remus was very still for a second, blinking very fast. "No," was his reply," I was merely replying to your insane accusation. Which… by the way is _very_… erm…not true." 'God,' he thought, 'I sound like a blithering idiot.'

"Maybe not a lady then? Don't tell me you've fallen for Mundungus!"

He could only glare at Sirius with a look of utmost disgust etched across his handsome features.

"Right then… not Fletcher…" Sirius faked a gasp, "Dear sweet Merlin… it's not _Kreacher_ is it!"

Remus let out a loud snort – the thought was so unexpected and so implausible… His snort turned into a chuckle, which morphed into laughter to the point of him doubling over.

Sirius had thought that would lighten the mood a bit and found that he, himself, was caught in laughter's extremely funny and seemingly-never-ending grip.

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; the kitchen. The same day. More than a few minutes later… Ω

"So how much do you like him?" Molly could taste victory as she ignored that little voice in the back of her head saying that she shouldn't be doing things like this… How could she pass up such an opportunity? Ginny never really told her anything about boys and Tonks was almost turning into a second daughter for her. And being a child of Molly Weasley's meant that you had certain obligations to fill… and if they weren't filled willingly, they were filled unwillingly… or unwittingly.

"I—I don't know what you're going on about. We've been through this like… six times, Molly!" Tonks let out an exasperated sigh, still swirling the, now cold, remnants of her tea.

Molly patronized her, "Mmm… Of course you don't…"

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; Sirius' bedroom. The same day. After much laughter and many dirty jokes and inferences on a somewhat dusty old bed… Ω

Their laughter having subsided a little after the last joke about a filthy (of both mind and body) house elf and an overly-drunken pretty barmaid, Sirius thought it would be apt for him to start prodding at Remus again, "So when did you start your thing for Tonks?"

Remus choked on a hiccup of laughter, "What? Seriously man… I uh… um…"

Sirius gave him a knowing look, "No… I'm going to _'seriously'_ you. I know I was faking about knowing before, but honestly… it's brutally obvious that you two have _something_ going on… It's just that no one really knows _what_ yet though…" His voice had settled down and was low – almost a growl.

"Fuck. You're serious that it's that … out in the open?" he whispered, as if someone was pressing a glass against the door. Remus looked worried, he couldn't stand to think that Tonks knew what he still felt for her…

"Yeah Moony. I am."

Remus ran a hand through his ashen-brown hair nervously, "Shit," he exclaimed to himself. "Does she know?"

"No. I don't think so… The way it looks is like you two think that you're the only ones _in the know_ about it and therefore you do some pretty noticeable things with each other sometimes. I saw how you were looking at her ass when she was in the pantry earlier…" Sirius smirked again, chuckling softly.

He opened his mouth and closed it again several times, again at a loss of what to say. "You—you _saw_ that!"

"I think _Molly_ saw it and she was messing with potatoes. You two just give off this… aura or something and if I didn't know better, I'd say you two've done something together. Am I not right?"

Remus debated whether or not to cave in, but found that it was a losing battle either way. First, he could tell Sirius – but that meant that Sirius had wheedled all the information out of him… but if he didn't talk – that meant that Sirius would not stop pestering him about it until he did say something… 'Fuck,' he thought to himself dejectedly, 'Here goes my credibility for keeping secrets… my _own_ secrets at that…' He ran his tongue across his teeth a couple of times before consenting softly, "Yeah."

Sirius punched him friendlily on the arm, "Ooooo! Moony's getting some moonlight action!"

Remus rolled his eyes and once again thought back to what he had said earlier – they still acted like they were in the fifth year… "It was only one time… and that was like… I don't know. Like… a year ago? I think… Hm…" he trailed off, concentrating far to much on the inane details – like the date.

"A year ago! A _year_! What? Are you kidding me? You didn't say _anything_ about it. Not a fucking word. What the _hell_ is that?" he seemed genuinely shocked that his best friend in the world had kept such a secret from him.

"I—tch—I don't know. I just… it… It went really badly and I didn't want to bring it up. Ever. But… seeing as how that plan is shot to hell…" Remus could feel the guilt welling up inside of him, knowing how much Sirius would have liked to have been there. And he _could_ have been there for him – he wasn't locked up in a horrendous prison anymore; that was the thing that he could tell stung Sirius so much.

Sirius didn't say anything, instead opting to run his hand through his raven-black hair, mulling over what had just come out. He supposed that he could see where Remus was coming from and he could tell that deep, deep down – somewhere inside of himself, he could empathize with the werewolf.

Remus couldn't tell what was going through that somehow perpetually mysteriously brooding head of Sirius' and feared the worst. It wasn't all that big of a deal in some aspects, but in others it was. It was a matter of trust between the two friends. There were just certain things that weren't kept secret and the fact that he had just done so meant that there was a violation of some unwritten rule somewhere in the contract of their friendship. "Listen, Padfoot… I'm sorry I didn't—"

He turned to the more fair-hair inclined and said very seriously, "There's only one thing that will make this all just a jolly story that we joke about in the very near future."

"Hmm?"

That devilish smile edged its way onto his face, "Tell me all about it."

Remus could only chuckle a little at this reply.

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; the kitchen. The same day. After a certain someone swirls her tea dregs into nothing more than a murky, powdery sort of substance at the bottom of her cup. Ω

"_Fine_ Molly! Sweet Merlin… I can't _believe_ the lengths that you're going to… trying to eke this out of me…" Tonks set down her tea cup with a bit more force than she'd have liked and ended up with the odd concoction her tea had turned into being sploshed onto her hand and the saucer. She wiped it off irritably as she muttered, " 't's Remus."

Molly grinned. She had done it and victory was sweet. She blinked for a moment, still a bit taken aback at the rather overbearing sorts of thoughts that were scampering about in her head – no matter… there were bigger things to think about now… "Oh, I know it's him."

Tonks was utterly shocked and her jaw dropped a bit as she turned towards Mrs. Weasley. "You—you _knew_! How? What? Are you… no… were we _that_ conspicuous about it?"

All Molly could do was nod and smile; it was rather funny really, seeing Tonks figure things out for herself. "Oh… Do tell then… since we both know now…"

"Oh man…" Tonks murmured dismally.

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; Sirius' bedroom. The same day. After a certain someone divulges the not-so-graphic-and-somewhat-self-glorifying-details of a certain day that was… a year ago, was it? Hm… Ω

"No fucking way, man… That's amazing…" Sirius was in disbelief as to just how Remus won Tonks over… or was it the other way around? Either way… it sounded like they fit each other perfectly – Tonks was the bit of spunky, edgy yang to counterbalance Remus' cool and collected yin. Sirius found himself a bit like the sixth year Padfoot and exactly how Remus had put it earlier – wanting what he couldn't have. Of course he didn't want _Tonks_ per se – no, that would be wrong on so many levels… but to have something like _that_, what _Remus_ had, when all he, himself, had had were flings… Sirius almost felt empty inside. Almost.

"Wait – I haven't even finished telling you… See, after that, then things went to hell…" Remus' voice hinted at the fact that he was flustered beyond belief. He hadn't divulged the details of his love life to anyone since… well… a long time. And now that he had just done so, it felt weird – not to mention he was going to mention the fight that mussed up things… the fight that he had started.

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; the kitchen. The same day. After a certain someone leaves out many-a-detail in the telling of a certain one-day had a year ago, feeling weird about talking to a motherly figure like that. Ω

"Well, I guess then you could say that since we were both feeling the same way… we sort of… Um. You know…" Tonks had a very bright red flush that had set into her cheeks and she couldn't make eye contact with Mrs. Weasley – and _hadn't_ for the last five minutes. Granted, she was only talking about them having ice cream together, but all the while, she knew what was coming up. The best way to deal with it seemed to be to use a 4th year mentality about the whole ordeal and just skirt around it as fast as possible and then forget about it. "Yeah," she started again quickly, "and then we had this fight… almost right after. Well… not right after… _you know_," she whispered the last couple words with such hurry that she wasn't even sure that they came out as their respective words at all – or if they even made sense. "But yeah. So then we had this—this fight."

Molly nodded, looking very much like an in-person Annie Flanders or someone or other she had read about in some Muggle magazine while in King's Cross a little while back. She didn't want to say anything about that incident though, as this Flanders person was talking about nearly the same issue – instead, Molly occupied herself with trying to remember what Flanders had written and trying to reword it to relay to Tonks. "A fight you say…?"

"Yeah. It was stupid, really," Tonks shrugged a little.

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; Sirius' bedroom. The same day. After there's a bit more self-glorification that has gone on in the event of talking about a certain altercation. Ω

"You di—wha? Shit. What the hell?" Sirius sat up, appalled at how Remus had acted after… well… _you know_. "Why on Merlin's green earth would you berate some chick right after you've shagged her? _What is that_?"

Remus couldn't even find the strength in himself to follow Sirius and get up too. He lay there, an elbow bent behind his head as he did a sort of half-shrug. "I have no fucking clue. I feel like I was on those um… what were they? Fourth year? Remember? That um…"

Sirius let out a snort, "Tchyeah… god… it was um… Woah. That was a long time ago – I'd forgotten till now. Let's see… weren't they something to do with the merpeople?"

Remus laughed a little, "Yeah – it was that time we snuck out of the castle and there was that mermaid on the rock, really staged looking, and then she started hitting on you?"

Sirius smacked a hand to his forehead, "Merlin. I'd totally forgotten her. You know… having the wrath of the entire merpeople population of the lake is _not_ fun… Holy shit… but that was some good stuff she gave us…"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Yeah, if you count the whole… you, me, and James being stuck in the hospital wing for the next day. Really fun."

Suddenly coming to and remembering the topic at hand, Sirius turned to Remus and asked, "So… what next?"

"Well," Remus swallowed, "I couldn't tell you what she did. But I know what I did. I felt like such a _bleeding_ idiot…"

"You _were_ a bleeding idiot…"

"Shut the hell up."

Ω A sub-alley of Diagon Alley between a stationery shop and a broom repairing station. The same day (nearly 1 year ago to the time when before the Order went to go and pick up Harry). Nearly 15 minutes after Remus has left Tonks' flat. Ω

Remus had spent the quarter of an hour, walking briskly down the street, which he noted was much less crowded than earlier in the afternoon. 'The afternoon. Fuck. The afternoon. _Fuck_," he glowered, thinking to himself.

He took a breath, trying to clear his head. It was no use. He had been trying to do so for the last fifteen minutes and found that it was impossible. Remus only wanted to go blank for a moment so that he could get home – then he could think and over-analyze and bitch and do whatever he wanted. He took another breath. This was the fourth alley that he had walked into and suddenly realized with a sinking feeling that if he didn't focus soon, he would keep walking and walk into Knockturn Alley. Not a place he wanted to visit this evening.

The thought seemed to help and he stood up, focusing his mind's eye on the dusty little street corner by his flat. There it was: the flickering lamppost with the bad light, the overgrown grass right by the base of the lamppost, the cracked street curb…

With a slight popping noise, he was there, his shoe crushing some of the overgrown grass. Remus paused a moment before continuing down the street, happy he hadn't misplaced an eyebrow or an earlobe when he'd apparated. 'Well, it's not like I've ever had any _trouble_ with it…' he thought scathingly, as if he needed to impress the fact upon himself. His heels clicked ever so slightly on the street as he headed off to his flat. It was a five-minute walk to the rickety old building. He stood outside it for a moment, subconsciously comparing it to Tonks' flat complex.

The building had a brick façade made of a deeply hued red brick… well… red bricks and tan bricks and brownish bricks… every color of brick imaginable. The assortment of hues gave the building a mottled and rather unattractive appearance. Behind that nasty mosaic of brick, there was only a thin sort of layer of wood separating the inhabitants of 4 Brebury Lane from the outside. There was a charm protecting the wood as well, but no one had bothered to check the date on which it was cast or how well it actually was holding up. Everyone just agreed to not muss it up and live like they actually had a decent flat.

Remus swung open the door, stepped into the meager foyer and started up the 5 flights of stairs to his flat. Walking that far was usually therapeutic for him, it helped him sort out his thoughts, what had happened during the day. Tonight, it proved to be more detrimental than helpful. He almost wanted to just stop on one of the flights and sit… maybe roll himself down the stairs he had just climbed… But he ventured onward to the top floor and tapped a brassy doorknob with his wand, muttering a charm before stepping into his room.

That was all it was. A room. The cheapest flat he was able to get without being 40 miles out of London. 'It's not even a _flat_,' he thought to himself when he first saw it, 'it's a fucking studio and I'm paying _everything_ for it…' Despite appearances, he was incredibly grateful to the landlord for letting him stay. It stung so much having to put 'werewolf' on the applications that he signed for different places, but here it didn't seem to bother the reclusive old woman too much. She just needed to let the place out to someone so that she wouldn't have to work.

His room couldn't have been more than twelve by fifteen square feet, and within it, he packed his bed, a stovetop, a fridge, a tiny closet, a desk, a chair, a nightstand, and a rather sorry-looking bookshelf. He wove his way into it, closing the door behind him and muttered another charm to keep people out and from bothering him.

Remus kicked off his shoes by the door tiredly and unclasped his robes before throwing them onto the desk-stool on the opposite side of the room. He slumped into his bed, hardly bothering to change into anything else as he pulled the covers up and rolled over onto his side, trying to close his eyes and drift off somewhere else. Somewhere where he wouldn't have to think about anything. Just black. Black and blank and peaceful.

His feet hung over the edge of the bed, and Remus felt a slight draft run across the foot with the holey sock. He tried desperately to ignore it. He tried to ignore the creeping sensations that he felt at random places all over his body. He tried to ignore the insane creaking noises from below – Remus highly doubted that the two men who had just moved in below _ever_ got any sleep – he knew that he didn't… 'Not with their goddamn bed-riding _every_ _fucking night_…' he scowled as he turned over again. Most of all though, Remus tried to ignore the thoughts that kept berating him for being such a…

'A fucking bastard, I was,' he thought dolefully. 'No. I don't want to think about this. Not now. Just let me sleep…' Remus thought that it was dreadfully ironic that at that moment, there was a noisy creak and a terribly loud groan from the flat below. 'Damn thin walls and floors and _everything_ else…' He'd never quite worked up the courage to bang on the floor at them. Or maybe it was just that he hadn't the heart to stop something that they enjoyed doing in the semi-privacy of their own flat. Bitterness wasn't something that Remus usually felt so deeply. But now… He just couldn't control himself. He shut his eyes tightly and rolled over again, the sheets now tangling themselves betwixt his trousers and hiking the pant-legs halfway up his calves. Remus halfheartedly tried to kick the pant-legs down again, but ended up more tangled than before and he gave up – instead, trying to let unconsciousness settle in.

Remus lay on his bed in the dark for the next hour and a quarter, all throughout, completely awake. The last five minutes were spent on his back, staring ruefully up at the ceiling plaster. Suddenly, he flipped the covers off of himself and sat up, planting his feet onto the floor. He sniffled slightly and reached for his wand that was sitting on the nightstand next to his bed, squeezed between that and the bookshelf. With a flick of his wrist, the room was lit up and he walked over to his refrigerator and opened it unceremoniously. There was half a sandwich, some orange juice, two beers, a peach, and a handful of grapes. He blinked. 'Right then,' he thought, 'something else then…' And he walked less than a foot over the shabbily built closet-pantry. He sifted through some boxes on the top shelf and found a few bags of ramen, a chocolate bar, and an unopened bag of dried apricots. He paused again, looking at the contents of the box contritely, "All right," he spoke aloud, "Um…" He put the box back up on the shelf and spun on his heel, looking around.

The desk. Right. The desk. He walked over and sat at the much-to-short-for-its-desk stool. Remus' knees were bent at odd angles as he looked through the drawers for some sort of something to take his mind off of things. Nothing.

He turned and looked at the bookshelf. It was chockfull of books, but nothing seemed to interest him right now. Remus vaguely wondered why he had ever bought any of them if he didn't want to read them, blocking out the fact that only just yesterday he had been reading quite a few.

Remus twisted back around, setting his elbows on the desktop and flopped his face into his hands. He needed to talk to someone. Merlin… he needed to stop being so restless. He needed to stop balling his feelings up inside of himself. 'I wonder if Sirius is up for a talk,' he wondered to himself distantly before deciding against it. This wasn't that big of a deal. It was just a fling. Just a one-night, or one-_day_ rather, stand. The thought made him sick. Tonks was right. He didn't just do that sort of thing and leave. He wasn't like that. Was he? _No_. This was just a one-time thing. He would apologize to Tonks tomorrow and then they would forget all about it and then… then they could go back to just being friends.

The only problem was that Remus didn't want to be just friends with her…

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; the kitchen. The same day (in other words, a few days before some members of the Order are to pick up Harry.). After much talk about a woman's duty to herself and perhaps future familial generations… and a little bit of talk about a fight… or something. Ω

"Tonks! I _still_ cannot get over the fact that you didn't use a charm! I—I just don't know _what_ to say, other than the fact that I'm quite disappointed in you! You've no doubt learned your lesson, I suppose?" Molly had resumed her usual mother-like self again and her voice had been elevated to an odd pitch that grated the air like the scrape of a fork against a plate. Tonks had to consciously keep herself from recoiling.

"Yes _mum_, I have. Now can we get back to what you've been wheedling out of me for the past what? Hour?" Tonks was highly annoyed about the you-need-to-cast-a-charm-because-you-never-know-what-could-happen-and-_yes_-that-_situation_-can-happen-even-if-it-is-your-first-time talk. She chose not to divulge the fact that no, it wasn't her first time – far from it actually – and that she was completely competent in her charm-casting skills, but she just didn't think to do it that time… She just couldn't think at all…

"All right. Just so long as you have had it stamped and imprinted into your mind to remember to use that charm. And don't you take that tone of voice with me…" there was warning in Mrs. Weasley's voice that hinted that there was much more wrath lurking under the already perturbed exterior of this red-headed woman.

"Right then… so after that…"

Ω The living room of Tonks' flat in Diagon Alley. The same day (nearly 1 year ago to the time when before the Order went to go and pick up Harry). Thirty seconds after Remus has left the flat. Ω

Tonks found she could only lay on her rusty couch for half a minute after she'd heard the door slam behind her. Her leg was shaking; another one of those random nervous habits that tended to creep out into the open when she was under emotional stress… or when under the influence of too much caffeine – which happened far too often. She actually thought about her leg going to and fro at 190 kilometers a minute and found that it took a tremendous amount of effort to stop jiggling around. After having to make herself still, she had the overwhelming urge to start moving again. "Fuck," she said softly, "Maybe I'll just unpack. That's um—That's something that'll take my mind off of things. Mmhmm." She nodded to herself as if she needed physical motivation and affirmation of her actions to actually get up and do anything.

She shifted slightly so that she could get up, her legs crossing over one another. Tonks stopped as she heard the sickening squelch accompanying the slick feeling she had between her legs. She closed her eyes, opening them as she did her legs, revealing the remnants of events from earlier in the day. Swallowing hard, one of her hands slowly reached down to an inner thigh, dragging a pale finger across the milky substance coating that area. Getting a bit on her finger, she brought it back close to her face, pressing her thumb and forefinger together then pulling them apart at an agonizingly slow pace. The creamily translucent fluid formed a slimy string, delicately connecting both fingers. Tonks repeated the gesture, seemingly staring at her fingers, but in fact staring past them as she brought them closer and closer to her face. She moistened her lips a little, parting her lips, not quite sure of what she was doing – her head was completely devoid of any thoughts whatsoever. Some form of restraint stopped her from licking at her fingers, but instead, she blinked back a few tears and pressed some fingers against her lips as if trying to seal away any sobs trying to make a break for it.

That was it.

It was enough.

She had to get him off of her – all of him. Tonks thumped off the couch, padding behind it and down the hall towards her bathroom. She chose to ignore both the little white splotch working its way into the fuzzy fibers of that damn couch, as well as the bit of Remus oozing down a leg.

Sitting in her bath was supposed to be soothing and relaxing. It was anything but that. Tonks couldn't help but replay the day over and over in her mind. What if she hadn't invited him over? Then… maybe they'd have apparated over to a park or something; then what if they felt the same way? What if they went back to her place anyways – or _his_ place? What would have happened had Remus rejected her invitation? What would have happened had they never gone out for ice cream? Nothing. Her overly active imagination wasn't game for such a simple and complete answer and instead tried to complicate things again by bringing her more forward in her thinking rather than back. What if she'd said, "I love you?" What if he hadn't walked out? What if she really were pregnant – she didn't _know_ yet, did she?

"FUCKING WHAT IF!" she suddenly screamed, completely distraught and overwhelmed.

A lout bit of beating from the floor reminded Tonks that yes, she did live in an apartment complex; and yes, it was late; and yes, Mr. Finglehorn, the only cat-_man_ ever, lived downstairs and had a penchant for being able to have his broom handy at _all_ times, ready to chastise rowdy neighbors – especially Tonks.

"Sorry Mr. Finglehorn!" she shouted towards the floor, otherwise known as his ceiling. Merlin, barely a week in here and my neighbors despise me, she thought bitterly.

A single thump was the reply and after that, peaceful calm was spread until Tonks sprinkled curses all about as she scrubbed at her arms and legs with a majestic-purple scrubby thing. Had it been any other bath, she'd have amused herself with the round scrubbing utensil, wondering how it was made, perhaps what it was actually called. For now it was scrubby thing, and it lived up to its name as she rubbed it and grated it along her pallid features, bringing a slightly glistening, pink glow to her skin. Tonks submersed herself in the water, wriggled about like an overly large, pinkish minnow and considered that a good enough rinse as she pulled up the plug with a toe and got up to dry off.

After getting dressed with some random articles of clothing that she pulled out of some random boxes stacked throughout her room, Tonks plodded into the living room and got her wand out of her robe, twirling it betwixt her fingers as she spun around slowly, surveying what she needed to do to unpack.

"Mum packed," she thought to herself aloud, "so that means that everything's been stored away where it should be. Right? Right. Mmhmm. So I'll just open the boxes and everything will be able to be done smoothly without any trouble whatsoever…"

The moment she waved her wand, the box that she had been trying to deal with turned itself right side down and landed on the floor with a thud and a few cracks and plinks. She stood there for a second, staring at the spot where the box had been before the disastrous attempt at unpacking, her face full of contempt. "Fuck. Damn. Gahhhhhh!"

Mr. Finglehorn had made himself known once again, thumping obnoxiously on her floor.

"Sorry Mr. Finglehorn!" she yelled again, rolling her eyes and kicking silently at the floor, wishing for nothing more than to be a klutz alone and in peace, rather than receiving criticism from some wrinkly old man with sixty cats dwelling in his flat with him. Tonks could swear that she could smell cat litter or some sort of rancid smell creeping up into her flat sometimes and made another mental note to seal off the cracks by the walls and floor. But this time, she could smell something different…. Something… nice. 'Wow, that's a good change,' she thought, perking up slightly.

Though, Tonks couldn't quite put a finger on what she smelled yet. She walked over to the box, squatting down a little and sifting through the contents that were spewing out of the opening. It wasn't long before her hands touched something slightly damp and she lifted a tye-dyed scarf, soaking with what smelled like… like… She lifted it to her nose and sniffed timidly.

Vanilla. Vanilla perfume. That sugary sweet smelling crap that she had gotten from someone a while ago. It had a pretty bottle – the only reason she kept it, but it was a leaky bottle too.

The handkerchief had been balled up and smacked against the wall before she had even really processed what she smelt. She closed her eyes, holding back her tears and letting the pain within her chest well up. 'Fuck no. _Fuck no_.' She was being very careful to not cry out or scream or make any other noise that might just elicit another thump from the cat-man. In her efforts to do so, she bit onto her lip, sucking on it with absentminded vigor.

It tasted slightly bitter. A good kind of bitter. Slightly salty, a little sweet, but mostly bitter. It was nice.

'Wow. Two _nice_ things in a row. I wonder what shit this is gonna bring me now…' She thought, sucking slightly harder on her now slightly swollen bottom lip. Tonks thought back to what could possibly have been on her lip and realized with a sickening roil in her gut that it was Remus.

Her eyes were scrunched up and her hands balled into fists before she slapped her palm against her forehead, hitting it several times before she took a breath and stood up quickly; too quickly in fact, because she stumbled and nearly slipped in some white puddle that was on her scratched wood floors.

A white puddle. A white, _vanilla_ puddle. _Remus' white, vanilla puddle._

Tonks was shaking with some feeling that she, nor anyone else, would have been able to decipher. Though despite all uncertainty of just _what_ one emotion she was experiencing, it was sure to contain rage, despair, exasperation, disbelief, and defeat. Despite her emotions, she gripped hard onto her wand and spat out, "_Scourgify!_" before going into the kitchen and looking through all the cabinets like a madwoman.

She found the liquor and glared angrily at it before hoisting a bottle off of one of the taller shelves and twisting at the cap. She sat at the table in her kitchen, nursing the bottle for the rest of the night before owling the Ministry to say that she would be in late that day.

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; Sirius' bedroom. The same day (in other words, a few days before some members of the Order are to pick up Harry.). After altogether too much detail about what was stashed in someone's fridge and how amazing dried apricots could really taste at a little after dawn. Ω

"Fuck. So… did you apologize to her?" Sirius asked.

Remus looked at him like he was insane, "Of course I did! You know that I would have! I've got this little thing called a conscience that kind of restricts me from not doing the right thing most of the time. Because you know that if I don't listen to the damn thing, I end up a complete wreck." Remus couldn't believe that he was explaining this to Sirius, 'Honestly!' he thought to himself, '_where_ was he during all of school?'

"Oh right. Forgot about that. Most of the time I just tell it to shut the fuck up and it usually complies," Sirius said facetiously. "Anyways… by the way that you've told this rather enjoyable little story, it sounds like it was even worse than your first time…" He snickered a little.

Rolling his eyes at Sirius for what felt like the thousandth time that day, Remus said, "That's a bit of an understatement."

"Well, I _know_ you haven't really bedded as many women as _I_… But—" Sirius was bragging jokily.

Remus shot up, "Yeah – shut up. You know that isn't true! I've shagg—" he cut himself off there, feeling a bit odd talking about how many notches he had scratched into his metaphorical bedpost, and to tell the truth – it was more than a few…

Sirius patted the werewolf on the back, "I know. I was only jesting."

"Jesting?" He quirked an eyebrow, "Since when do you say jesting?"

Sirius stared at Remus. "Um. You know. That's a good question. Something that should be settled over… um… something delicious… say… more of Molly's biscuits?" He grinned, rubbing his stomach like a little kid.

Remus parroted the action and they both got off the bed and made for the kitchen.

Ω 12 Grimmauld Place; the kitchen. The same day (in other words, a few days before some members of the Order are to pick up Harry.). After many more details of a certain story are left out – particularly the parts about ingesting certain things from certain other people… Ω

"Right then. So that's basically what happened. I spent half the next day trying to magic myself better, but only succeeding in making myself worse and missing the entire day of work because I was hunched over a fucking toilet. Oops! I'm sorry… I didn't mean to say 'fuck,' _whoops_… there I go again…" Tonks frowned a little at her slip and bit onto her lip, sucking on it a little.

"That's fine dear. Just try not to say it anymore… At least around me. But I'm sure that the world wouldn't lose any of its luster because you decided not to curse anymore…" The normal, non-interrogator Molly was back and swinging – scolding about sex, language… now all that was left would be violence, drugs, and alcohol. Tonks could stand to take a rain check on those.

Tonks let out a deep sigh, "Well it felt better to get all of that off of my chest. It's really been mounting up for such a long time…"

Molly gave Tonks a half-hug, "Just know that you can always come to me – anytime – and I'll be there to listen."

Tonks nodded, giving Mrs. Weasley a bright smile, before turning her head to look at what made a slight scuffling sound.

In the doorway, both Remus and Sirius stood; Sirius with a ridiculous grin on his face and Remus with a contented smile flashing towards the two women – one in particular. "We just came in to get some more of those lovely cookies of yours, Molly. Do you know if there are anymore?"

Molly couldn't suppress the slight blush that was welling up in her cheeks, "Of course Sirius – they're just over there. Yes – behind that um… that…" She pointed to a corner of the kitchen behind… well – _something_.

Sirius had walked over to the spot that Molly was pointing to, "Yeah. I don't know what it is either… but I found the cookies. Thanks again." For a moment, Sirius caught Molly's eye and he winked at her, finding that she had winked in return. Success was found on both sides. He found his grin widening and he started for Remus, "Come on Moony," he said, walking out the door again.

"Thanks you two," Remus said softly and he turned to follow Sirius. "Knowing us, we'll probably be back for more…" And though he didn't quite realize it when he spoke, he was looking directly at Tonks…

ooooooooooooo

A/N: Okay. So another chapter squared away. And this was quite an insanely _hard_ chapter to write. My god. It's 15 pages, single-spaced, TNR font. DEAR LORD. So now you guys know why it took a while to update. I originally was going to include more (which will now be the next chapter), but I figured that this bitty was enough for you to savor for the next week or so. And I say 'week' not because I'm evil and want to keep you waiting, but because I'm going on vacation for the first time in 2 years and I highly doubt that I will have access to a computer (and even if I do have access, I'm sure that it's going to be very unlikely that my parental units will let me anywhere near it). So I'll be back soon. I'll be writing like mad when I'm alone in the woods. Eeek. Sounds creepy. Lol… Mort Rainey creepy. twitch (Lol. Loved the novella and the movie though!) Anyways. I really hope that you guys liked this chapter. It took a _lot_ of effort and I'm sorry that it took so long – like what? Um… by the looks of things, it took maybe a week or a week and a half? Either way, hope you guys are still on board.

Cheers!

Elf Girl 4

PS: Sorry for any unchecked typos. I've read through it, but chances are that I'm really stupid sometimes and I don't actually catch many errors. .

PPS: Okay. So on my second read-through I noticed some weird words that _are_ actually words, even if they don't sound like it. These words include, but aren't limited to: 'friendlily' and 'jokily.' Quite odd if you ask me.

PPS: The person that lets me use their computer was gone all weekend and up till today (Wednesday), so that's another excuse (jeez! I have to stop!) about why this is kinda late!

A _sweeeeeeeet_ thanks to: (Sorry these're shorter – I'm running low on time.)

-Moo-cow- Thanks! Sorry this time it took so long.

-JadedDiva-Thank you! I will totally keep going. And your comment about the author's notes and story being separated has been duly noted and changed as needed – thanks for telling me, I didn't realize it before!

-Painin Uranus- Wow. Was someone a li'l sugar high? Lol… Still love your reviews, no matter how crazy they are.

-Van-Hey to yourself! Thanks – hope you didn't think my beta-ing on your story was too out of whack… Lol… That's a good thing ('wasn't too graphic') coming from you! Lol. 3

-LuvzRock16-Yeah. I'd felt like I'd heard that somewhere and it seemed really fitting – btw – I _loved_ TKAM! It was such an awesome book… Atticus is my hero!

-Butterflyblonde- Lol… Yep. Here's an update – hoped you liked it. Lol – 'Saucy sex scene'… That makes my day.

-Aljinon- Yes. Both R & T are quite pig-headed. But I hope that they were a li'l more flexible and whatnot in this chapter – hope you liked it too!

-Princess Persephone- Thanks very much! Lol… I love toe socks too. Don't you just see Tonks having like 6 pairs of toe socks? Lol… I'm glad that you liked the procession of events in the last chapter – and I really hope that this one went well too and that it wasn't to confusing.

-xanya-forever- Aw – thank you! I'm really happy that you're attached to this story – that means a lot! And I know how writer's block it… damn, it's totally a bitch, but hopefully you'll be able to pull yourself out of it! And I'd be really excited to read a R&T story by you. Omfg. When I saw the allusion to Eternal Sunshine I was SO happy! It totally like… made my week. I _love_ that movie ( owns it )… I watched it a couple days ago… Lol. Anyways… I think that Remus dreams are more than abundant with all of us… :)

Aquarius Galuxy- Yeah, a li'l late, but much appreciated nonetheless. Thanks for liking the citrusy side of my story. I'll take into account the whole… skin on skin contact thing when writing the next bit of stuff (whenever that comes up…:P). Thanks for the pointers there! Oh – and the thoughts thing. It really got to me… In a good way though – hopefully… Lol… cuz I put a lot (in my opinion) more thoughts and stuff into this chapter. Hope it wasn't too draggy though… that would be a bummer. And yeah. Neither of them are virgins – I tried to subtly slip that into the story… it was probably sticking out like a sore thumb. .

-TrinityDD- I know it was sad! It was rough writing it… .. Anyways, I hope this chapter was a bit of an upper! Hope you liked it!

-Lady Underworld- Thanks! Glad you thought it was cute! Lol… no one's said kudos to me in a looooong time… thanks!

-Rockin-J-Fanfic-Chick- Lol… No toning it down then:) I'm really happy you like it so much. A breath of fresh air? My smut? Wow… That's an awesome compliment if I've ever heard (or read, rather) one! And yes, I do believe that the two of them are in need of a hug. Soon. Hope that you liked this post!

-Just a fan- Totally screwed stuff up. But yeah… I'm REALLY glad that you got excited! Wow – that's totally sweet! I hope that I didn't keep you waiting too long for this chapter!

-lupin-girl88- Thanks! Glad you liked it! But let's remember – this is a fanfic! Nothing is definite! (Not to say that everything's indefinite… Lol… I'm confusing myself!)

-Aquarius Galuxy- Hey again… Yeah. Random net access is rather hellish. Anyways… _Him_. Um. I guess it's kinda explained? You could probably tell that it's Sirius. I've gotta tweak some stuff though. Lol… Hope that this update came at an opportune time so that you could review:)

-ArtysThunder- Thanks! Glad you liked it! Hope that you had fun reading this chapter!

-ShC- Thank you very much! I'm a stickler for characterization (as I've said many, many times before) even when I'm on crack (I'm not really! I don't think… hm…) I hope that this update wasn't too long from the last time for you! Hope you keep reading!

-Kwala- Thanks a lot! I'm glad you loved it! And yeah, Sirius would be _him_. And NUUU! No intimate stuff between them (I tried to put it in that that wouldn't happen in this chapter… it was probably too subtle and hidden though. . ) Babbling is _always_ encouraged by me… since I tend to do so (like right now). Lol. Hope you liked this chapter!

-Real-fan05- Oldies're cool (only in moderation though… lol)! So that's cool… I'll have to go get those songs and listen to them! Maybe I'll get more story ideas. Perhaps a songfic will find its way onto my agenda after this little fic is over:) Hope you liked this post! Keep reviewing!

-Katameran- Thanks! Glad the dialogue is good... And glad they're not ooc... Hope you liked this chapter -- it hopefully had more characterization.

-ImHopeful- I luff you! And I luff Johnny too! Lol...

-Crazyfordrama - (I'm crazy for drama too! lol) Thanks! Glad you loved it... hope you liked this chapter too!

-Har- I'll try and update asap! Hope you liked this post!

-Mucada- Thanks! I'm sooooo glad that you reviewed again! I loved it! Sorry I've got to go now, but I'll totally reply longer next time... >. Please keep reading!

-Goofy518- Thanks! I hope I'll be able to... I'm working on it... I'll try and update asap!

Thanks to everyone else! I luff you guys:)


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